Fireangel76

My Writtings

In The End

After seeing Infinity Wart and getting my heart utterly crushed I realised I could´ve handle Loki´s demisse if it had been better written so I wrote my own alternative beggining. There will be no happy ending but a glorious death which we were denied. Read at your own risk.

“This is the Asgardian refugee vessel.

We are under assault. I repeat, we are under assault.

Aliens are dead, sliced open…

Requesting aid from any vessel within range…

Our crew is made of Asgardian families, we have very few soldiers here.

This is not a war craft, I repeat, this is not a war craft.”

 

“Hear me… and rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan.

You may think this is suffering …No. It is salvation. Universal scales tipped toward balance because of your sacrifice.” The tall alien preached while he treaded over the battlefield, wreckage and bodies of either dead or dying Asgardians covered the ground. “Smile for even in death you have become Children of Thanos.”

 

Only when his introduction was done that the mad Titan approached as he dragged the body of the once invincible Thor.

 

“I know what it’s like to lose. To feel so desperately that you’re right, yet to fail nonetheless.

As lightning turns the legs to jelly. I ask you to what end? Dread it, run from it… Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say… I am.”

 

“You talk too much.” Thor scorned him; even in defeat he refused to be broken.

 

“The Tesseract.” Thanos demanded Loki ignoring Thor’s comment. “Or, your brother’s head. I assume you have a preference?”

 

Loki feigned disdain while he answered “Oh, I do … Kill away.”

 

Thanos was expecting such response and without any delayed pressed the infinity stone already on his gauntlet against Thor’s head extracting painful screams from the fallen God.

 

The sound of his brother’s screams pierced Loki’s heart dissolving his façade in an anxious scowl as he hurriedly yelled “All right, stop!” He couldn’t let Thor die.

 

“We don’t have the Tesseract.” Thor almost mockingly interjected thinking that Thanos demands were futile. “It was destroyed on Asgard.”

 

Displeased with the truth Loki down casted his gaze “Actually … it wasn’t. But I’m going to need more than just Thor’s head to surrender it to you.” He raised his eyes to meet the Titan’s.

 

“You dare try to negotiate with me” Thanos asked almost amused by Loki’s insolence. “I can crush both yours and your brother’s skull in a heartbeat.”

 

“But then you wouldn’t obtain the Tesseract, would you?” Loki taunted him; until he had delivered the Tesseract Thanos wouldn’t kill him, not until then.

 

“And tell me what do you exactly want now? Don’t tell me you are still looking for a throne to sit on?” Thanos mockingly asked him.

 

“No.” Loki plainly told him when he noticed Hulk and Valkyrie through the corner of his eye; they were ready to jump on their aid. Furtively he locked eyes with her and nodding his head negatively he continued. “I want you to let what’s left of my people live. Let them board the escape pods and escape as far as they can from your … salvation.”

 

“Huh” Thanos interjected as he considered Loki’s proposal. “So, that’s your price?” There couldn’t be much Asgardians left alive in the vessel anyway; furthermore, it wouldn’t matter how far they ran once he got all the stones.

 

“Yes” Loki agreed praying that Valkyrie would caught on his true intentions. “Pay it and I’ll surrender the Tesseract to you. Unlike my brother I know when a battle has been lost. I’m quite sure Earth will be the next arena; let the earthlings deal with you next.”

 

“You really are the worst, brother.” Thor reproached him mostly unsurprised by his proposal. Maybe he would be able to save a hundred lives but at what cost.

 

“I already know what awaits me.” Loki acknowledged as his gaze met Heimdall’s for a brief instant. “I assure you, brother. The sun will shine on us again.” Loki knew as he spoke the words that that was a promise he would break unless some sort of miracle occurred.

 

Thanos knew it too. “Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.” He didn’t forgave failure and Loki has failed him miserably.

 

“Do we have a deal or no?” Loki demanded as he ignored everyone’s comments as he gazed into Valkyrie’s and Hulk’s position.

 

“We do Asgardian.” Thanos agreed. “Deliver the Tesseract first and your people shall live.”

 

Loki nodded affirmatively as he summoned the Tesseract. Would they be in such a mess if he hadn’t taken it; he would never know. As he grabbed the Tesseract in his hand he added “Well, for one thing, I’m not Asgardian. And for another…“ Loki informed him wryly “… we have a Hulk.” As he spoke the words Hulk rammed into Thanos.

 

 

“Let him have his fun.” The tall alien ordered his minions.”

 

“I thought I told you not to wait for us.” Loki hurriedly reproached Valkyrie as he reached her side.

 

“You are welcomed.” Valkyrie retorted. “We already took everyone we could find to the escape pods and were waiting for the right moment to leave. Now just explain me … what on Helheim were you doing with the Tesseract?!” She chided him as she gazed to the cube in his hands.

 

A hard crash made them look towards Thanos and Hulk; the green monster was losing.

 

“We don’t have time for this. Launch the pods and tell Thor that…” he hesitated; what could he possibly say to him. “Just tell him that I really tried.”

Hulk was already knocked out on the floor when unexpectedly Loki ran towards Thanos Tesseract in hand. In a desperate effort he mustered all his magic to activate it taking himself, Thanos and a good amount of bodies and debris through a portal leaving Valkyrie and a bounded Thor to deal with the Titan’s minions.

 

“Loki!” Thor aguishly screamed his brother’s name once he realized what he had done.

 

“Leave now!” Valkyrie yelled to someone though and intercom and swiftly helped Thor unbind himself before furiously jumping into battle. Thor was about to folloe her when a familiar voice stopped him. “Thor!”

 

“Heimdall!” Thor knelt beside his injured friend. “Heimdall are you all right?” Without waiting for an answer, he added. “Dis you saw what Loki did? Can you bring him back or take me with him?” He asked though ragged breath as he fought to withhold the myriad of emotions going though his head. Loki was all the family he had left.

 

“Thor!” Heimdall interrupted his desperate plea. “Don’t waste your brother’s sacrifice.” Thor couldn’t look him in the eye as Heimdall told him. “You heard Loki; Earth will be the next battlefield. You need to stop Thanos from gathering all the stones or everything will be lost. If have any strength left in me I must get you and Hulk back to Earth.”

 

Thor nodded his head negatively in distraught. He didn’t wanted to hear that even if he knew Heimdall was right.

 

“He’s no match for Thanos.” Thor admitted devastated; even he had been defeated by the mad Titan.

 

 

 

With the same violence they had disappeared the Tesseract had reappeared them in a dessert planet, Svartalfheim. It had been the first uninhabited planet that came to Loki’s mind.

 

Loki felt heavily into the dusty ground rolling away from Thanos as he lost his grip on the Tesseract. Although it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t have the strength to use it again for a couple of hours.

 

Besides Thanos and himself some considerable amount of debris was brought along by the violent opening of the portal among the debris that was scattered there were some lifeless or agonizing Asgardian bodies that had been caught in the portal’s pull.

 

As Loki raised to his feet as fast as he could he noticed briefly the terrified gaze of a dying Asgardian maiden drenched on her own blood fighting still for air even if she was too injured to get up. There was nothing he could do for her but even so he tried to encourage her with a smile that ended up in a crooked nervous one.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by Thanos who approached him slowly. Loki wasn’t any threat to him and they both knew it. “I’m growing tired of your games Asgardian. What did you hoped to accomplish by bringing me here? You already know you can’t win.”

 

Loki backed down as he materialized a couple of daggers, they wouldn’t be of much use against Thanos nevertheless he needed to stall him as long as he could to give the rest a chance. “I’m well aware of that.” He grimly agreed. ” I’ll leave your defeat in the hands of heroes.”

 

Thanos laughed amused. “You really think you can accomplish something by stalling. Did you learn nothing from enjoying my hospitality?”

 

“I wouldn’t call torture as hospitable.” Loki spat his jaw clenched irked by memories he longed to forget. “But I learned enough to know there is no escape from you. Besides … I’m tired of running.” With that said he conjured a dozen clones that surrounded Thanos.

 

“All of this for your misplaced newfound love for your brother?” Thanos inquired eeying the clones surrounding him.

 

“He will defeat you in the end.” Loki firmly asseverated.

 

“No, he won’t” Thanos scoffed him. “But I’ll enjoy dropping your mangled death body at his feet before crushing his skull under my boot.” Thanos smiled wickedly before raising his gauntlet using the power stone to obliviate the clones with a power burst throwing the real Loki flying a couple of meters until the ground stopped his fall. His clothes, armour and skin scorched by the power of the stone. Thanos was toying with him; he could’ve killed him with just one blow.

 

“I have to say I am disappointed.” Thanos mocked him. “I thought you said you were going to stall me. You are not worthy of my time.” He walked towards Loki once more.

 

Hearing such words Loki’s blood boiled, he was in great pain not only for getting scorched by the energy beam but also because of the impact; even so he forced his injured body to raise. Pain was reflected on his face as much as rage was portraited on his eyes; if he was to die he denied going gently.

 

He growled enraged clutching his fists as he summoned what was left of his magic, then proudly yelled “I am Loki, Prince of Asgard… Odin-son… The rightful king of Jotunheim, God of Mischief… and I … am … worthy! “With that he released all of his energies into a single telekinetic blow which made Thanos take a couple of steps back.

 

This last attack only infuriated the mad Titan who immediately charged against Loki. “Enough!” he growled as he threw the first punch against Loki who managed to success fully avoid it for just a couple of centimeters. But Thanos was faster than he seemed, and his second blow caught Loki directly into his chest as the mad Titan crushed him into the ground. “I could’ve gave you a merciful death if you had given me the Tesseract willingly.” He informed Loki as he placed his boot over his injured chest pinning him down.

 

 

“No!” Was the only thought that resounded on the maiden’s head as tears rolled down her eyes. How much she wished she had died before watching the gruesome spectacle in front of her. With their home world gone as well as most of its inhabitants they had found the smallest of comfort on their prince’s presence. They gave them hope in a hopeless situation.

 

 

“And Thor would’ve had the same treatment sooner or later.” Loki answered between coughs and wheezes, blood already flooding his lungs due to unknown number of broken ribs. “At least I …”

 

He was interrupted by his own painful scream which filled the air as Thanos brought all his weight down as he crushed Loki’s chest. As the most blood chilling screams you could ever imagined resounded on the deserted planet the sound of crushing bones followed it and then … silence.

 

 

Silence, never the sound of silence had ever been so horrifying. He had killed him. The Prince had survived the Void, the Dark Elves, even Hela and now Thanos had killed him. “It’s hopeless.” The maiden thought as thicker tears escaped her eyes; sorrowfully adverting her eyes from the bloody scene she turned her head as she fought to still a sob frightened Thanos could hear her as she fought the urge to vomit; such was the pain that filled her soul.

 

 

Thanos paces broke the silence; he retrieved the Tesseract from where it had fallen and with his bare hand broke the cubic container releasing the space stone from within. With a wide grin on his face he placed the stone in his gauntlet.

 

 

“Thor!” Valkyrie scream brought Thor back from his thoughts. Leaving Heimdalls side Thor came to her aid.

 

“I will handle this, leave!” Thor commanded her.

 

“But, Thor …” She protested.

 

“What’s left of our people will need someone to protect them. It has to be you. I’m …” Thor told her.

 

“Otherwise engaged.” Valkyrie acknowledged. “I’m hating this already, but I will do as you ask.” With that she knocked another enemy down before disappearing into a corridor,

 

“Heimdall, are you sure you can’t bring Loki back before sending us to …” Thor inquired in hope as he stopped another blow.

 

“It’s useless” Heimdall acknowledged grimly as a new portal opened. Though it appeared Thanos dragging Loki lifeless battered body.

 

“Your brother is dead” He informed Thor as he dropped Loki’s bloodstained body in front of him; Thor dropped to his knees aghast he couldn’t believe it. With the heaviest of hearts, he cradled his brother’s broken body against his chest embracing his bloody features while he cried in anguished denial. “No, no, no. No… Loki…no.”

 

Without waiting any longer Heimdall called on the last of his strength. “Forefathers…  Let the dark magic, flow through me one last… time.” An energy beam took Hulk from the ship and took him to Earth.

“That was a mistake.” Thanos calmly told Heimdall as he killed him in one simple motion.

 

“No! You are going to die for that!” Thor finally snapped out of his grief angered by the new loss of his friend as he was bonded once more.

 

“My humble personage… bows before your grandeur. No other being has ever had the might, nay, the nobility, to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones. The Universe lies within your grasp.” The leader of his minions praised Thanos as he bowed before him.

 

“There are two more Stones on Earth. Find them, my Children, and bring them to me on Titan.” Thanos commanded them.

 

“Father, we will not fail you.” The alien responded.

 

 

Meanwhile in Svartalfheim a lonely figure spent her last moments feverishly weaving her last masterpiece. She had been a well-known poetess under fake Odin’s rule. Her body was failing her, but her spirit refused to let go until it was finished. With a sigh she pleaded mentally into the sky. “Dear all-mother if you can hear me, I beg you; please grant me this request and sing to your child this humble eulogy when he joins your side at Valhalla.”

 

Next a small broken voice in a half whisper sang her prayer

“Let the universe dim away

Life’s sundown matters me little

When an unmerciful spear crosses my heart

Raining still in a cloudless sky

I beg the heavens for a miracle.

 

How much I already miss the laugher in his eyes

His incorrigible mischievous smile

That’s brings both joy and fright to my side

Oh, my dear prince let this be once more just another witty trick.

 

Deny me not the presence of your beloved shadow

Torture me with the hopeless hope of looking into your eyes

I will never be by your side I know that much

But foolish children live on foolish hopes

Deny me not the ache of loving you hopelessly.

 

Death angel I beseech you, take not my love

Darkest Serafín give me back what I can’t own

Don’t be jealous oh sweet peace bringer

And return the misrule jewel back

Bring back the chaos and rebirth; let him torment my days again.”

 

Silence conquered again the lonely planet that laid a true hero to rest.

 

PS: I really, really can´t and won´t believe Loki has died despite what anyone in Marvel says

#JusticeForLoki #BringLokiBackAlive #Lokideservedbetter #Lokifanfiction

Love’s Prayer

#spoilers #InfinityWar #LokiLives #LokisArmyWillReturn #Marvel #ResurrectLoki #Loki #TomHiddleston #LokiLove #LokiDeservesBetter

#spoilers #InfinityWar #LokiLives #LokisArmyWillReturn

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#spoilers #InfinityWar #LokiLives

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Love Rapture

Overfilled and empty
Longing and fulfilled
Every second aching
Freezing warmth beneath my skin
Companionship in the shadows.

Never arriving
Holding my breath for so long
I’ve forgotten how to breathe
Loneliness keeps me company
Only shadows in my mind
Deceiving whispering echoes.

Blue in green
Hand in lips
Hearts in minds
Time and space
Blending into chaos
Promises to be fulfilled.

Visions far away
Fading past
Approaching future
Which, is to be foreseen
Voidless hole
In my soul.

The sun in the east
Mocks me, the moon
Nothing but a fleeting instant
Destiny’s cruel joke
Hope becomes dangerous.

Shall I abandon myself to hope?
Tedious hurtful game
A glimpse seals the trap
Rapturing my beating heart
Alas, it’s no longer mine.

Where home is

What is home?
Nothing but longing
Unending ache
Visions fading
Unobtainable, always aeay.

Warm mirages
Fluttering ilusions
Nothing but darkness
Deceiving cold
Everywhere ashes.

There’s no home
For this castaway
The heart longs
The mind deceives
Infuriating pain.

Ancient warrior
Of infinite wars
No home for me
Only echoes on the night
Mocking my longing.

I long for home
Killer is the longing
Unreachable light
Ceruleans skies out of my reach
The heart aches alone
Ad distance prevails.

I want to go home
Is there such a thing?
Helpless, stranded, alone
Destiny’s toy
Casted into the storm.

Will I ever see you again?
The warmth of your soul
Calls as it ripps mine appart
Useless cries fill me
I’ll never go home.

Hope deserted me
I can’t abandon you
You burn me
My soul bleeds out
As the time sands keep us appart.

You are my home …

Heart to Heart

Steve panted heavily trembling in anticipation before Bucky buried inside him once more when Bucky deliberately stopped smirking at Steve´s flustered face and lecherous panting relishing on the scene. He still couldn´t believe Steve had been so eager; so hungry for his touch. He had planned to take things slow; to give Steve time to recover after his terrible ordeal at Hydra´s hands but Steve wouldn´t even hear of it. The moment Jarvis had cleared him from any major-medical issues he had refused to stay in the infirmary. He grinned at the memory.

 

Earlier that morning Loki and himself had been waiting side by side outside the main medical lab on the infirmary level, silently looking through the glass window while Clint and Tony draw some blood from Steve and instructed Jarvis to run every existing medical diagnosis on their friend.

 

“He looks so uncomfortable.” Loki volunteered cunningly observing Steve´s demeanor while he waited somewhat patiently for his test results.

 

“He hates it.” Bucky agreed pensively. “He always have …”

 

Loki looked up at him quizzingly; feeling his gaze upon him Bucky turn to face him an elaborated. “You would have had to know him before the serum to understand … “He turned his attention to Steve. “He used to be sick most of the time … “Bucky recalled with a frown as he watched Steve´s upset scowl. “I swear if he even sneezed … my heart skipped a beat. Hell, probably her mother´s did too! And we could see it in his eyes, every time he was bedridden; he hated it so much. Being sick, the doctors, feeling weak … making us worry …”

 

“You truly love him don´t you?” Loki asked openly while assessing Bucky´s every gesture as he talked about Steve.

 

Bucky smirked as he looked down; a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “Yes … I always have.”

 

“He´s been heartbroken for too long, do you realize that?” Loki admitted disquiet with a worried frown as he stared directly into his eyes. It wasn’t as much as what Steve had told him a little more than a week ago when he thought Bucky was lost forever to him, but what he hadn´t that troubled him deeply. And on top of that … Hydra, they had more than enough time to screw with his mind.

 

Bucky held Loki´s stare; feeling both surprised and concerned about his sudden change of attitude towards him. He was right though; until now he hadn´t even had any time to consider how his supposed death would have affected Steve; he had just begun to wonder if it had anything to do with him crashing Hydra´s plane in the Artic all those years ago. The though alone scared him. “I …” He struggled to find an answer he knew he didn´t had.

 

“Just … be gentle with him.” Loki requested with a worried sigh. He´d been there; he knew that even if everything seemed to be all right for everyone else, it didn´t meant that it felt that way for Steve. He had been an emotional wreck even before Bucky walked back into his life unexpectedly.

 

“I … I will.” Bucky agreed; still puzzled by Loki´s change of heart he asked him. “Loki, why are you telling me this? I thought … you didn´t liked me.”

 

“I don´t.” Loki admitted wryly. “But that doesn´t matter right now …” He frowned upset. “I hate to say this, but I think you are exactly what Steve needs right now.” Changing his stare for a more feral one he warned him. “Don’t make me regret this; cause … if you ever hurt him I swear …” He knew he didn´t needed to end his phrase Bucky understood precisely what he meant.

 

“I would never hurt him …” Bucky stated firmly before down casting his gaze downhearted; that wasn´t entirely truth. “Not willingly … at least.” He couldn’t forget he had, even if Steve pretended it hadn´t happened; he knew.

 

“I hope so.” Loki acknowledged sternly; changing his tone for an even gravely one he asked. “Did Natasha told you about the deprogramming?”

 

“Yes.” Bucky admitted plainly before heavily adding.  “I have to leave the day after tomorrow.” It had taken all of Clint and Natasha´s convincing to persuade Fury to let him stay that long in the Mansion unguarded. His attention was drawn back to Steve who now argued heatedly with Tony and Clint over the results. “She doesn´t know how long it will take to … get rid of ….” He grunted conflicted. “Whatever they put inside my head. It could be weeks … there is no way of knowing.” He scowled stricken.

 

“Have you told him?” Loki asked without taking his eyes of the scene playing in the lab.

 

“No.” Bucky acknowledged in a gloomy mood. “I don´t know how he´ll take it.” He wished they had more time; it was too soon. He wasn´t ready.

 

“He won´t like it.” Loki volunteered darkly.

 

“I know.” Bucky admitted heavily. “He´ll probably insist on tagging along; but … I can´t let him do that. I have to do this on my own. If I had a relapse and something happened to him … again. I wouldn´t be able to forgive myself.”

 

A long silence prevailed as both men watched their loved ones absentmindedly through the glass; each lost in their own thoughts.

 

“Could you …?” Bucky broke the silence first.

 

“Keep an eye on him?” Loki ended his question for him. “You don’t even need to ask.”

 

“Thanks.” Bucky thanked him relieved. Although … something bothered him; without any warning, he asked. “Did you and Steve …?”

 

Loki laughed amused by his question. It seemed Tony wasn’t the only jealous boyfriend around. “No …” He interrupted him while nodding his head in denial. “We never …. we are just friends. Good friends.” As far as he was concerned Bucky didn´t needed to know; and he was quite sure Steve would feel the same way. A lie for a lie.

 

“Are you sure?” Because … I got the impression …” Bucky questioned him again. There was too much familiarity between the two of them.

 

“I am sure Barnes.” Loki reassured him sternly. “And I would advise you to refrain from mentioning any of this in front of Tony … for everyone’s sakes.”

 

Bucky frowned upset by Loki´s last statement. He looked at him quizzingly; it was clear Loki wasn´t telling him everything. Did he really needed to know? Maybe not.

 

Fortunately, before either of them could say another word the door opened.

 

“How is he?” Loki asked first echoed by Bucky´s own question.

 

“Stubborn…” Tony wryly complained scowling at Steve, who just gave a displeased grunt before snapping back at him. “I said I feel fine.”

 

“That´s not what Jarvis results say.” Clint reminded him harshly.

 

“God dammit!” Steve spat irked. “I don’t care what the results say! I feel fine! I´m not staying in the infirmary!”

 

“I don´t give a damn about what you think Steve! “Clint scolded him annoyed. “You don’t have to stay in the infirmary but you are grounded until all your blood test come out normal. And you still have to pass the mandatory psychological examination. You are under direct orders not to leave the mansion; and I don´t care if a mission comes up, you will stay here and follow Jarvis indications!”

 

“For goodness sake it´s just a mild anemia!” Steve raised his voice irritated. “Jarvis even admitted it´s a borderline diagnosis.”

 

“Wait … he´s anemic?” Bucky intervened worryingly. How much blood had he lost for that to happen?

 

“Jarvis says it´s only temporary.” Steve offered still pouting; that worried look on Bucky´s eyes, it brought back unwelcome memories. He still hadn´t recuperated from the major blood loss due to his stabs wounds when Hydra had captured him. His healing factor had prevented any major issues due to their tortures; but he hadn´t recovered yet.

 

“Nevertheless you need to rest.” Tony adamantly informed him.

 

“I don´t …” Steve started to protest again when Loki interrupted him.

 

“Do we have a mission?” He asked Clint annoyed looking at him sternly with his arms crossed.

 

“No, we don´t.” Clint acknowledge. “But if …”

 

Loki interrupted him asking Steve with the same irked tone. “Do you have to go somewhere urgently?”

 

“No, but ….” Steve answered swiftly. But what if …?

 

“So, you three have been arguing about nothing for over ten minutes?” Loki asked more angry than baffled.

 

“Umh” “Well ….” “Yes …” The three men muttered embarrassed. Put out like that it sounded stupid.

 

“Now that we have establish that.”  Loki told them. “What did Jarvis recommended for dealing with the anemia?”

 

“Rest, food, liquids, some iron supplements …” Tony swiftly informed him. “Steve´s system should do the rest.”

 

“All right. I´m sure Barnes here will make sure Steve follows those recommendations to the letter.” Loki informed them firmly while giving Bucky an equally stern look. Bucky quickly voiced his agreement.

 

Steve was about to protest about it when Loki turned his attention to him. “You had two near death experiences within three days. The least you could do for everyone´s peace of mind is to stay put until Jarvis says you are fine.” Steve opened his mouth but before he could say anything Loki scolded him. “And don´t even think for one second that either me or Natasha have forgotten about your broken promises. You owe us.”

 

Steve down casted his eyes frowning upset; Loki´s last remark had hit a nerve. “All right.” He sighed defeated. He had been the sole source of everyone´s concerns lately; he couldn´t even begin to express how much he hated that.

 

As they made love it became clear why Steve had dragged his feet about getting into the elevator; he wanted to make sure they were alone.

 

Trembling nervously, Steve gathered his nerves and clumsily asked. “Bucky …uhm …” He bit his lip apprehensively; struggling to say the right words.

 

Bucky remembered looking at him questioningly; intrigued by his sudden shyness.

 

Steve scratched his nape nervously; still working up his courage. “When … you said that … we could do more than talk ….” He turned his gaze to him … expectantly.

 

Bucky hadn´t expected that question; specially not after all that talk about him needing to rest. He just frown surprised for a couple of seconds before he answered. “I … think you should get your strength back first … before we … you know …” Was that the whole reason about Steve being so strong-headed earlier?

 

Steve down casted his gaze abashed “I … I don´t want to wait.” He stated anxiously.

 

“Steve I …” Bucky tried to convince him once more when Steve interrupted him.

 

“Back then … I waited too long … and then … you were gone. I don’t want to make that mistake again. If there´s something I´ve learn through the years is that we could all die tomorrow … and … I …” He hesitated before adding in a pleading tone. “I feel fine … really Bucky.”

 

Bucky sighed knowing he wouldn´t be able to deny him for long; specially not after an argument like that. And even less when he looked so needy. “Those were different times Steve. Even if you had say something …” He would´ve rejected him back then, even if that meant breaking both their hearts … it was too risky, especially for Steve. He caressed Steve´s cheek gently allowing his fingers to slide softly as they traced Steve´s mouth. Steve closed his eyes shivering eagerly as he felt Bucky closing in.

 

Bucky smiled sadly beholding Steve yearning expression; he was going to miss him so much. Making up his mind he whispered in Steve´s ear. “Why don´t you show me your room?”

 

Steve gasped at his answer, rowdy opening his eyes to look at Bucky. He had the biggest grin on his face. “I … yes …yes …” He already looked flustered.

 

Bucky smile grew even wider as he nodded his head in disbelief. “Anyone that saw you would think that it is your first time ever.”

 

Steve down casted his gaze frowning; tilting his head he awkwardly confessed. “Actually …”

 

“Are you serious?” Bucky asked surprised; without thinking it through he added. “I thought that … you and Peggy ….” He knew he had made a mistake the moment he said it.

 

Steve´s embarrassed frown turn into a mournful scowl. “ We … never had the chance.” In that instant, the elevator door opened. Steve walked out instantly as he told Bucky in a nonchalant tone. “This way.”

 

Bucky followed him silently; angry at himself for being so tactless. Once inside Steve’s room he tried to apologize. “I´m sorry Steve. I shouldn’t have mentioned her … it´s just … it´s still too strange for me … all those memories … all cramped inside my head … I know that they happened a long time ago; but nevertheless, they feel as if they had happened yesterday … I´m not making any sense.” He ended distraught.

 

Steve listened attentively before admitting. “I know how is that like Bucky … I´ve been there. It´s all right. Really. It´s nothing”

 

Bucky looked worryingly at him, knowing it had distraught him more than he was willing to admit. “Don´t lie to me Steve.”

 

Steve sighed disturbed as he sat on his bed. “Sometimes … I feel like everything happened yesterday too.” Bucky sat by his side worryingly eyeing Steve’s´ troubled expression. “First I lost you … and soon after that … I … I lost everything else. Everyone I knew and loved … gone … in a blink of an eye … everything was gone … forever.”

 

“I´m so sorry Steve.” Bucky offered with sincerity. It had been different for him; he had been oblivious, ignoring everything he had lost. He had seen the world evolve bit by bit when they took him out of hibernation for the missions; getting his past back, had been hurtful especially considering he thought he had killed Steve but even then, he hadn’t felt completely lost. He knew his place on the world, or at least he thought he had; vengeance it had given him purpose until he found Steve again. Steve´s sense of loss had been completely different.

 

“It wasn´t your fault …” Steve acknowledged with a guilty look in his eyes as he stared back at Bucky. “It was my fault … I was the one that lost you.”

 

“No, Steve! It wasn´t your fault.” Bucky spat shocked by Steve’s´ words. “We were at war … you did the best you could do … the best anyone could´ve done. I don´t blame you.” He tried to reassure him.

 

“No, it wasn’t enough. I wasn´t enough” Steve spat angry at himself. He didn’t have had to save everyone else, he just had had to save Bucky, why didn´t he?

 

“He´s been heartbroken for too long.” Loki´s words echoed in Bucky´s mind. That was what he was trying to tell him. “No Steve; don´t do that to yourself. You did all you could. You couldn’t have known …”

 

“But I do know now!” He screamed anguished as he stood up giving his back to him. “I do know … now.” He turned with a beseeching look in his teary eyes. “I know exactly what they did to you …” Dropping his gaze too ashamed to look Bucky in the eye he confessed. “He made a point of explaining it to me … step by step … while he …. tortured me … while he gloated … while he told me I was helping him do it to you again …” Bucky could see Steve shaking in anger; his fists clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white. When he opened his eyes again them Bucky´s heart sank; he´d never seen him that pained before; not even when he had stabbed him. “He was right …. I did this to you … I should´ve … I didn´t even look … I didn´t even tried … you must have hated me.” He dropped his head into his chest sobbing.

 

Bucky rushed to hug him as he reassured him. “No, Steve. I could never hate you. It doesn’t matter what he told you; it´s a lie. I never hated you, never, not for one instant.”

 

“I didn´t even mourned you …” Steve whined at the top of his lungs reproaching himself. He felt so guilty.

 

“It was war; we didn´t had time to mourn. Do you forget I lost friends too? I can´t blame you Steve. You only did what you had to do.” Bucky told him while holding Steve protectively to his chest. “Hydra …” He thought furiously; they had no right to do that to Steve. Using his good nature; his love for him, his guilt; to twist them to their own advantage. He should´ve known … that was the one thing they excelled at. Keeping all his fury at bay he heavily told him. “Neither of us can change what happened Steve. But, it´s all in the past now; you need to let go. I´m here with you know, that´s all that matters. And this time we can be together in a way it could never had been before …” He sighed closing his eyes painfully aware of Steve´s every sob. “Back then … I never even dare to dream that … I would be able to tell you how I truly feel about you. I want you to know that … if I had the choice I would go through everything again just for that chance.”

 

“You can´t possibly mean that.” Steve nodded in denial distraught. How could he possibly have meant it?

 

Bucky nodded in disbelief at his words. How could he still ignore how much he meant for him? “You know I would never lie to you Steve.” But he had, he had not only lied to Steve but to himself.

 

“You never … all those years … I thought you didn’t … all those women.” Steve rambled confused as he looked into Bucky´s eyes.

 

“I know.” Bucky admitted with a scowl; he was right, he had hidden it too well. “I was too scared of what could´ve happened to you if anyone ever found out … I even lied to myself.”

 

“I could’ve deal with it.” Steve mildly complained with a frown in his face. All that time … if he had only known.

 

“No Stevie.” Bucky disallowed him. “Four years in those prisons? I might have survived it; but you … you would´ve died in there. I just couldn´t risk it. I chose you to be safe, rather than with me. All we could be back then was friends. That was all we … all I could have … I forsake everything else. I was so caught up at hiding it I didn´t even realized you felt the same way.” He hadn’t been sure, not until Steve had kissed him back while under the water.

 

Steve frown grew deeper. He too had heard the rumors about what happened to people in those jails. There were endless tales of inmates taking their own life’s rather than serving their full-term sentences. It was that bad. “But … afterwards?”

 

Bucky gave him an amused smirk. “And risk giving Captain America a blue discharge? Do you think I would´ve even dared knowing that could happen? Besides … the men needed you, our country needed you … hell the whole world needed you. I´m couldn´t be that selfish.”

 

“But Bucky …” Steve protested once more.

 

“Yes, I know though man. You could´ve dealt with it … somehow.” Bucky smirked; it was so Steve. “That´s exactly why I never told you. I was afraid that if you somehow felt the same way …“He sighed. “I knew just what you would´ve done … and I couldn´t let you.”

 

“But … then … now what?” Steve asked trying to make sense of everything Bucky was telling him. He was still a public figure, and the world still needed him. Where did that left them? Would they have to hide … again?

 

“Things have changed a lot in 90 years … just look at Tony and Loki. Everyone knows about them; I don´t think they know just how lucky they are. They never had to hide it; they never had to fear being dragged in the middle of the night because of who they chose to be with.” Bucky told him.

 

“Not everyone thinks the same way … some still think … it´s unnatural.” Steve volunteered abashed; even if some things changed others remained the same.

 

“I know.” Bucky agreed. “I don’t care about what others might think anymore. I waited too long …. we waited too long.”

 

Steve nodded in agreement feeling hopeful. “Yes … we have.” He looked at Bucky with longing as he felt his heart thumping hard in his chest.

 

“Maybe … it´s time we stop waiting.” Bucky could feel his own heart beating quickly too as he reached for Steve’s´ mouth. He kissed him needingly, fiercely, unafraid. It wasn´t long till he heard a muffled moan from Steve. He bit him hungrily extracting an even louder moan. Grinning widely he twirl Steve making him stumble into the bed; it only took a small push to make Steve fall into it. He paused for an instant; taking a moment to look into Steve´s flustered face as he laid on his back expectantly; his nipples perking up under the tight shirt. Bucky ran his eyes through him; when they arrived at his crotch Bucky bit his own lip aroused, Steve was hard already. “A little eager …. aren´t we?”

 

Steve looked down catching a glimpse of his own cock straining against the fabric of his pants. “You made me wait for over a hundred years … what did you expected?”

 

Bucky couldn´t help to laugh. “Then I guess I´d better make up for that.” He climbed into the bed straddling Steve.

 

Steve gasped, he had never felt more aroused in all his life. “Bucky ..” He was interrupted by his own moan; Bucky had lifted his shirt and skillfully circled his navel with his tongue before travelling up to his sensitive nipples. Sucking hard on them Bucky could feel Steve´s back arching while feverish tried to get some friction to his still neglected shaft.

 

“Don´t be so eager …” Bucky whispered lustfully on his ear. “I´m going to fuck you until you can´t take it anymore … and then … I´m going to fuck you some more.”

 

“Dammit Bucky … stop …teasing me …” Steve reproached him between pants as Bucky nibbled on his ear. “Oh … fuck!” Steve exclaimed while Bucky grinned pleased, he had swiftly reached under Steve´s underwear without any warning. “You mean like that?” He playfully teased him as he gave him a small squeeze.

 

“You … jerk!” Steve spat, Bucky was only toying with him.

 

“Language Captain …” Bucky scolded him jokingly taking his time.

 

“Will you just …” Steve tried to admonish him, but he couldn´t even finish his sentence. Bucky had begun stroking his full-length, building a steady rhythm.

 

“Not a chance … punk … you are mine. I´ll play with you as long as I want. I´m planning to take my time exploring every inch of you.” He told him while Steve panted heavily. He wanted to memorize every muscle, every curve; to discover every sensitive spot and exploit them. He couldn´t take his mind from the fact that he would have to leave soon. He was going to miss Steve terribly, but he didn´t had a choice. He couldn´t risk hurting Steve ever again.

 

“Ah!” Steve writhed under him. “Ah … Bucky …” The urgency in Steve´s tone snapped him out of his thoughts. Suddenly he remembered; it was Steve´s first time … ever. He stopped for a moment looking at Steve´s flustered face; changing his tone for a softer one he asked. “Mmm, you like that don´t you? Can you take some more baby? I´ll make you feel so good …I promise.”

 

Steve opened his eyes, squinting at Bucky’s face as he tried to catch his breath. “Don´t … stop … please … don´t stop! Make me yours …”

 

“Steve …” Bucky volunteered with a satisfaction sigh. “I want you so much it hurts … I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too Bucky.” Steve answered full heartedly. “Now … could you … just … fuck me already?” He ended with a playful grin.

 

“At your orders, Captain.” Bucky jokingly answered more than ready to comply. Before Steve could react he skillfully unbuttoned Steve’s´ pants and yanked them down. Greedily he took all of Steve’s cock into his mouth.

 

“Fuck … fuck … fuck!” Steve panted unprepared for the new sensation Bucky´s warm mouth provoked on him.

 

Bucky had to take Steve´s cock out of his mouth for a moment; he just couldn´t help to laugh … some things had changed. He couldn´t remember Steve coursing that much. He admonished him jokingly. “If you keep swearing that much I’m just going to have to …” Steve interrupted him midsentence with a feverish kiss.

 

Bucky kissed him back fierce fully pinning Steve to the bed; hungrily he bit his neck. Steve whimpered; it hurt but at the same time it felt so arousing. Bucky kept biting and sucking delighted at the needy whimpering noises Steve was making. He bit him a little harder next time extracting a louder moan.

 

“You really like rough, don´t you?” He questioned him teasingly before sucking hard enough to leave a hickey rubbing his pelvis against Steve’s´.

 

“Yes … yes …” Steve panted; his dick trapped between their bodies getting the stimulation he had long craved for.

 

“I want to see you … all of you.” Bucky told him lustfully. “Let’s lose the clothes.” He tugged Steve´s shirt up revealing his naked torso. Suddenly he noticed two faint white lines he hadn’t seen before, tracing Steve´s abdomen and left side. He realized those were the places where he had stabbed him. Frowning he traced them delicately with the point of his fingers absentmindedly. Steve noticed his troubled expression and gingerly volunteered. “It wasn´t your fault.”

 

“I know …” Bucky agreed before looking up. “I´ll never allow something like this to happen ever again, you believe me; right?”

 

Steve smiled kindly. “I believe you.” He rose to kiss him. “It wasn´t you.”

 

“How can you forgive me that easily?” Bucky asked bewildered; not even a small hint of a reproach; none.

 

“Because I love you.” Steve offered plainly.

 

“Bucky smirked. “I love you too punk.”

 

Steve frowned at the once familiar pet name. “I think you can stop calling me that; don´t you?”

 

“What do you mean? You don’t like it? You never said anything before.” Bucky asked surprised by Steve´s words.

 

“No, it isn´t that … those nick names … jerk, punk … I don´t think I’ve realized before … but that´s not … they mean something else; don´t they?” Steve asked feeling unsure.

 

“Well …” Bucky admitted. “I couldn´t just call you darling, could I?”

 

“I guess not.” Steve giggled picturing the scene. “Not back then. But I wouldn´t mind you doing it now.” He blushed amused by his own suggestion.

 

Bucky laughed out loud; Steve´s smile warmed his heart. How could he had gone for long without telling him that? Down casting his gaze, he bit his lip nervously before telling him. “Umm … Steve. Now that we kind of made a pause I kind of need to tell you something …” Bucky scratched his nape nervously.

 

Steve sighed upset. “You’re leaving for deprogramming.”

 

“You knew?” Bucky spat surprised.

 

“I overheard you and Natasha talking … you both thought I was sleeping.” Steve admitted.

 

“I … I´m sorry Steve I know it´s too soon and I should´ve said something but … I just didn´t know how. Although … that´s not what I wanted to tell you.” Bucky volunteered between distraught and nervous.

 

Steve looked up at him slightly scared. “What then?” He questioned anxiously.

 

“I … well … I know it doesn´t look that way but … I´ve got no idea of what to do next. I mean … I kind of know … well, I saw some drawings but … that really doesn´t exactly cover the how part …” Bucky confessed worryingly, what if he did it the wrong way? Wouldn´t that hurt Steve? Steve opened his mouth unsure of what to say; he didn’t have a clue either. “Don´t you have a book or something we can look at for … I don´t know … get some pointers?” Looking at Steve frowning confused Bucky disregarded his last comment. “Forget it! It´s Steve Rogers I´m talking about! Of course, you don´t!”

 

Steve kept frowning in deep thinking. “We could always ask Tony … or Loki.” Bucky frowned at his suggestion; like he could felt comfortable doing that. “Or we could just try to figure it out on our own.” Those were really all their options.

 

Bucky sighed disgruntled as he laid next to Steve looking at the ceiling considering their options. “You knew about the deprogramming … why you didn´t said anything?” He asked suddenly.

 

“What could I say? That I didn´t wanted you to leave? I understand why you have to … I just … I´m going to miss you terribly.” Steve acknowledged sadly.

 

“That´s it” Bucky sprang out of bed decided. “I´m asking Tony”

 

“Wait! What?” Steve asked taken by surprise.

 

“We have barely two days before I leave. I´ll be dammed if I waste another second. “ He climbed back into bed to kiss Steve fervently pinning him down again. “I´m going to get us some instructions … darling. Now get some rest cause when I get back … you are not getting any.“ He teasingly gave Steve´s flaccid dick a not so gentle squeeze that made Steve gasp.

 

Before Steve could say anything, he was gone. He leaned on his elbows staring at his own cock. “Dammit Bucky … you …” He had left him more than half naked and horny. He sighed between amused and annoyed as he proceeded to get his trousers off him. Resigned he tuck himself under the covers; he´d better try to get some rest. Something told him Bucky wasn´t joking about what he was going to do when he got back. He smiled sheepishly … Bucky was coming back … no matter how long the deprogramming would take … Bucky was back in his life … for good … until the end of the line.

THE END

Aftermath

Steve had closed his eyes as Bucky continued kissing him swooned into his warm kiss. Suddenly Bucky felt Steve´s body over relaxing; he broke the kiss worryingly.

Half asleep but satisfied eyes fixed on him; now that the danger had passed the physical exhaustion of the past days had caught up with him. He exhaled in a sigh smiling as he timidly asked. “Can I sleep now?” His pleading tone, the question itself … not even Steve was aware of how close they had been to breaking him … Bucky bit his lip heartbroken wondering just how much would Steve had endured during his captivity. He was still scrambling into his brain for an answer when Steve interrupted his thoughts. “You are so warm …” He snuggled closer to him trying to draw even just a small part of his body heat into his own skin. Bucky frowned puzzled by his remark; he didn´t felt warm. As a matter of fact his clothes were still damp; after their race to the Quinjet he had managed to fight the cold, but he didn´t felt warm. Concerned he touched Steve´s cheek, he was still stone-cold despite the jacket Clint had placed on his back and the emergency blankets that wrapped the rest of his body.

 

“Steve … you are freezing.” Bucky volunteered looking worryingly at him.

 

“We need to get him out of those wet clothes.” Clint told him dryly. They didn´t had the time to do it before.

 

“I think we might need to get those shackles off him first.” Tony volunteered with a frown in his face.

 

“I can´t break them.” Bucky informed them heavily. “I´ve tried.” They had thought of everything.

 

“Maybe I could try cutting them off with the laser.” Tony thought out loud which draw everyone´d attention to him. That didn´t sounded like the best idea. “Or … maybe not.” He offered feeling everyone´s shocked glares on him.

 

“Men.” Natasha spat annoyed pulling out a small picklock that had been hidden on her belt. “A lock is a lock.” She plainly informed them while approaching Bucky and Steve. “Can I?” She asked Steve kindly; none of them knew exactly what Hydra had done to him yet but they could make an educated guess based on his appearance. She didn´t wanted to startle him nor awake any recent memories.

 

“Umm, yes …” Steve agreed placing one of his shackled wrists on her extended palm. He sighed; sleep would have to wait. After fidgeting with the picklock for less than a minute the shackle fell to the floor with a loud clank. Dark bruising as well as red angry lines had been hiding under it.  Natasha looked up at him upset by the state of his wrist. Steve had winced slightly while she manipulated the lock; grimacing in pain when the pressure of the shackle suddenly lifted, now he observed his own wounds absentmindedly. He remembered the pain as he was hoisted up.

 

“Steve …” Natasha´s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Steve frowned confused for a second trying to concentrate on what Natasha was telling him. “Uh? I´m sorry … I´m just so exhausted.” He offered his other wrist to her.

 

“It´s ok.” Natasha accepted his apology even if that wasn´t the reason she had called his attention. He didn´t needed to worry about that sort of thing right now.

 

When both of his wrists were free Steve softly nursed them, wincing when he touched a particular sore spot. At least he was free now.

 

Clint swiftly offered Steve a bundle of clothes as he told him. “I´m afraid we didn´t brought an extra set of clothes for you; this was all I could find. They might be a little tight except for your jacket but at least they are dry.

 

“It´s all right.” Steve thanked him with a small smile.

 

Tony was distracted working on a mental list of everything he now thought the Quinjet should be equipped with; he just hated feeling unprepared. A medical compartment equipped with anything they could use during an emergency; it couldn’t be big; but it would be useful if  they could use it also as dressing room. The thought had popped into his mind when he noticed there really wasn´t a place in the craft to change in private. Not that it mattered much; after all they had all seen more than enough of Steve on the hospital. But it would be nice to have some sort of privacy on the Quinjet. His mind began to wander about introducing Loki to the Mile-High Club when Steve removed Clint´s jacket from his shoulders.

 

The whole team had dropped silent shockingly staring at the condition of Steve´s back; their expressions varying from pained to enraged. Hydra hadn´t lost any time torturing him; all kinds of cuts and bruises crossed all of his back, older and fresher wounds coexisting in the same places. His healing factor had played against him allowing Hydra to pursue his reeducation relentlessly.

 

“God, Steve!” Bucky was the first to speak expressing his concern while at the same time burying down his anger. “If I ever get my hands on whoever did this to you he´ll be lucky if I just kill him…” He hid the dark thoughts of Steve knowing they would upset him.

 

“We´d better fly him straight top the base.” Natasha suggested distraught. “He might need a medic after all.”

 

“Humans!” Loki growled vexed. “I´ve had it with your archaic forms of healing!” Without waiting for any reply to his outburst he knelt next to Steve. Looking at him sternly he ordered. “Give me your hands right now!”

 

“But …. Loki!” Tony complained instantly; they had been fighting for at least two hours.

 

“I don´t want to hear it Stark!” He warned him irked before sighing upset. He hadn´t meant to sound that harsh. “They are only flesh wounds Tony.” He looked back at his lover trying to comfort him.

 

Steve looked at him astonished; besides from Tony he didn´t recalled Loki offering to heal one of them. They usually had to ask him, and he didn´t used to do it if we was too tired unless it was a real emergency. “Loki … are you sure?” He asked him flabbergasted feeling his heart pumping hard at the unexpected gesture. “ I mean … I …”

 

Loki interrupted him smirking warmly at him. “What´s the worst than could happen Steve? That I´ll need to rest afterwards? The enemy has been defeated. I think I can take the risk.” Next he leaned to whisper on his ear. “Now … stop blushing.”

 

Steve bit his lip nervously as he blushed even more. It just wasn´t a reflex he could control. “God … you are terrible.” He acknowledged with a wry smile as he surrendered his hands to Loki.

 

Loki took a deep breath and closed his eyes, but before he started the incantation he opened them again as he warned everyone. “Keep quiet; this isn’t as easy as it seems. I really need to concentrate…” He closed his eyes again only to open them a second later annoyed by something. “Tony … you are thinking too loud.”

 

“What??!” Tony spat shocked at his comment. Loki just gave him a stern look that spelled  “Stop staring at me”.

 

Tony huffed nodding in disbelief; yes, he was staring. His boyfriend was healing not only their friend but the person he had kissed less than a week ago. It might be petty of him, but he still felt a pang of jealousy. “I´ll go to the cockpit” He volunteered shrugging it off rather annoyed. Half way there he smirked nodding amused; Loki definitely knew how to put up a show.

 

Bucky frowned intrigued by the whole scene and just looked at Loki questioningly.

 

“Do you want to join him?” Loki questioned him sternly startling Bucky who just surrender a dry. “No.”

 

“Then be quiet.” Loki ordered him; he knew Bucky loved Steve deeply and vice versa but that didn´t meant he liked him. Not right now at least.

 

Clint and Natasha just looked at each other amused; something had definitely happened between Steve and Loki during the time they had been away. Whatever “it” was it would be worth risking Loki´s wrath to find out.

 

“Ahem.” Loki cleared his throat staring right at them unamused.

 

“Umm, sorry.” Clint volunteer; next he mocked him wryly. “We´ll think quietly.”

 

Steve just couldn´t refrain from laughing any more.

 

Loki looked back at him equally amused by Clint´s witty comment; but most of all he was glad of hearing Steve´s laugh. Scolding him softly he motioned his silence. “Shhh.” He explained him pained. “I´m sorry, but this might sting a bit.”

 

“I understand; I´ll be fine.” Steve nodded in agreement.

 

Taking again a deep breath Loki closed his eyes, he kept breathing deeply until he felt concentrated enough. A green aura lit around him traveling from him to Steve´s body closing any opened wounds on its path; as well as any internal ones’. Bruising faded as the broken blood vessels under them healed. Loki frowned deeply as he struggled to maintain the spell a little longer; but he was too spent from the battle. He broke it off suddenly with an exhausted panting leaning into Steve´s forehead opening his eyes; they both looked equally exhausted. “Better?” He sincerely asked.

 

“Much better.” Steve admitted with a relieved smile; he had been in quite some pain even if he had refrained from mentioning it to the others. They were worried enough. “Thank you”

 

“That´s what friends are for.” Loki volunteered while accepting his gratitude; changing his tone for a sterner one he told him. “Don´t you ever do something like this ever again. We all were worried sick about you.” Everyone nodded their heads on approval as they voiced out their endorsement to Loki´s statement.

 

“I´m … sorry.” Steve admitted taken aback by their reactions. “I really hope that nothing like this ever happens again.”

 

“Don´t tell Tony … but, I think I over did it.” He suddenly offered with a sly smile.

 

“I heard that.” Tony spat surprising Loki who just smiled weary at him. He had come back as soon as Loki started casting the spell.

 

“I thought you had left.” Loki acknowledged spent.

 

Tony knelt down in order to help him up as he slyly told him. “I hate people telling me what to do.” He volunteered while helping Loki up. “Besides, you know I would never leave you alone again.” Loki looked at him pleasantly surprised; he had remembered his promise.

 

“If I wasn´t this tired ….” He acknowledged looking lovingly at Tony as they sat on the left seat isle of the craft.

 

“I know …” Tony whispered lustfully in his ear before he leads Loki´s head to rest on his shoulder. “Chocolate?” He offered playfully a small wrapping that Loki snatched delighted before hurryingly unwrapping it and taking a satisfied bite. “Mmm … I love you.”

 

Tony snorted amused. “Are you talking to me e or to the chocolate?”

 

“Both.” Loki offered jokingly. Everything was fine; he hadn’t felt at peace in such a long time.

 

Clint, Natasha and Steve smiled warmly at the scene; it has been ages since they had seen Tony and Loki that happy.

 

Bucky´s gaze went form one person to the next wondering what had been all of that about. Also he was making a mental note about asking Steve about his relationship with Loki. He had felt strangely jealous about their interaction.  Looking back at Steve he asked him. “Do you need any help?”

 

Steve looked intently into Bucky´s eyes; if they were alone he just might had said yes. “I … think I can handle.” He volunteered abashed.

 

Clint and Natasha looked back at them. “We´ll be in the cockpit.” Natasha volunteered dragging Clint along. “Let´s take all the love birds home.” She whispered with a smirk to Clint´s ear who almost busted laughing. “Um, yes; what she said. We´ll be in the cockpit.” He agreed utterly amused.

 

Tony and Loki seemed to have fallen asleep content of being in each other´s arms.

 

“Bucky I …” Steve looked at him unsure of what to say first.

 

Bucky smiled warmly at him; he could see the questions piling up inside Steve´s brain. “We´ll have enough time to talk. Let´s get you dry first.” He caressed Steve’s cheek gently as he smiled fondly at him; he was safe at last. Next he asked worryingly. “Did they fed you? He knew Hydra´s methods all to well.

 

“No.” Steve admitted distraught. There was only one reason Bucky could knew to ask him that. He frowned with a heavy heart imagining Bucky been subjected to the same tortures he was; only … no one had come to his rescue. “I´m sorry.” He confessed with tears on his eyes.

 

“You keep saying that.” Bucky pointed out concerned as he dried Steve´s tears. “Even when … I stabbed you. “He looked at him pained by the memory. “Steve, what on God´s name you have to be sorry about?”

 

Silent tears kept rolling out of his eyes as he explained. “I … I should´ve looked for you … back then. Maybe if I hadn´t just assumed you were death …” There was true pain in his eyes.

 

Bucky sighed deeply before snatching a t-shit from the bundle of clothes Clint had given Steve; as he pulled it over´s Steve head he told him. “You couldn’t have known.” He motioned Steve to help him with the sleeves. “I have nothing to forgive you about Steve. It wasn´t your fault.”

 

“But …” Steve protested weakly as he rolled the shirt down. It was a bit tight as Clint had told him; it probably was Bruce´s.

 

“Steve … you are cold, hungry and exhausted. I know we have much to talk and we will.” Bucky acknowledged kindly; Steve always seemed to forget about himself. “But for now you need to dress up, eat and get some sleep … so, unless you want me to help you with your clothing …”

 

Steve blushed fiercely at his words …. If only they were alone.

 

“Oh…” Bucky felt bemused and aroused at the same time; he did want him too. He bit his lip conflicted. “I … don’t think this is the right place for …”

 

Steve nodded his head swiftly in denial still flustered. “No, it´s not. I just …” So many thoughts and feelings overwhelmed him.

 

Bucky smirked mischievously at him. “We´ll have enough time to talk about … that … maybe we can do more than … talk.” He kissed him hungrily feeling Steve´s quickening heart beat; his Steve. This time he really was his.

Just … hold on

They were just minutes from landing the Quinjet; knowing there was a big possibility Hydra was prepared for them was an unsettling feeling. If Bucky was right and everything was a trap to lure him in, he would be the person with the best chances to get Steve back.

 

“I think you should have this.” Clint told Bucky gravely as he offered Steve´s shield to him. Natasha had retrieve it before the enemy base collapsed.

 

Bucky refused quickly holding up his hands in denial while nodding his head negatively. “No, I can´t.” It represented everything Steve was; and he now wasn´t.

 

Clint pushed it into his chest sternly. “Yes you can and you will! “ Looking at Bucky´s bewildered expression he added. “I know you know how to use it. Besides … Steve might need it.”

 

Bucky sighed defeated as he nodded in agreement; he was right. “all right. But I´m just holding it for Steve.”

 

“For Steve.” Clint agreed gravely; none of them had ever thought his absence would weight so heavily on their hearts.

 

“Are you sure we can´t get Thor or Banner back?” Tony asked Loki one more time.

 

Loki grunted annoyed. “I´ve told you already that the answer is no. It´s not like I just can give him a call. And even if I could somehow reach him the odds are that he´ll have his own problems to handle. He wouldn´t have taken Bruce with him otherwise.” He reminded him sternly.

 

“So … it´s just us then.” Tony scowl worryingly. What if Hydra had a trap designed specifically for every one of them?

 

“What do you mean it´s just us?” Loki eyed him more than annoyed by his comment. Like if they weren´t going to be enough.

 

“No … sorry. I didn´t mean it that way. It´s just … I wish they were here with us. You know, for …” It didn´t mattered he had been so angry at him only a couple of days before; he was too worried now to care about that. “Are you really going to make me say it?” He whined discomforted.

 

“It wouldn´t hurt you to say it.” Loki reprimanded him angrily. Tony´s frown grew even bigger. Loki sighed in disbelief. “He won´t give in that easy.”

 

“Are you talking about Steve or Bucky?” Tony asked curiously.

 

“Probably both.” Loki acknowledged; he might not like Bucky but it seemed he did care deeply about Steve. “Now stop looking so gloomy.” He ordered him firmly. “We have work to do.”

 

“Ready guys?” Clint spoke up as they maneuvered to land in a snowy plain field between some trees. “Let´s just stick to the plan. Whatever happens one of us must get to Steve, all right?”

 

Everyone agreed. “Yes.”

 

“Now let’s go get our boy back!” He ended while getting an arrow out of his quill.

 

Fight broke out the second they step out of the Quinjet just as they had expected. As they got deeper into the base one by one they were separated until only Bucky remained. They wanted him alone; that much became obvious when he walked undisturbed through several levels. Still there was no sign of Steve anywhere. Suddenly he walked into what it seemed an underground harbor under the poor lighting. No one in sights as in the levels before.

 

Taking him by surprise all the lights turned on. “I´ve been expecting you … soldier.” Shuralov welcomed him from behind a control panel.

 

“Where´s Steve?” Bucky yelled angrily while pointing his gun at him. They better have not killed him …

 

“Captain Rogers?” Shuralov asked feigning surprise before changing his tone. “so rude of me … I almost forgot.” With a maniacal grin on his face he pulled up a lever.

 

A metallic sound called Bucky´s attention; placed at the middle of the harbor there was a chain in the water that now was being pulled out swiftly by the pulley mechanism. His heart skipped a beat when a couple of shackled hands emerged. His eyes widened in horror as he recognized Steve´s battered body. As soon as his head was above the water Steve began coughing harshly; some of the water had found its way into his lungs. Bucky paled with rage wondering how long had he been submerged before he arrived.  The chain kept pulling him up until he was about 50 feet above the water. His chest and feet were bare; his trousers were the only clothing item they had left him. Bucky clenched his jaw vexed at the spectacle feeling his blood boil as Steve raised his head; he had a split lip, a black eye that was beginning to fade and a large purple bruise on one of his cheeks.

 

“Bucky” He spat in a sigh; forcing a weak smile. They had come for him … during the last past hours he had begun to fear they wouldn´t get to him on time.

 

Bucky heart sank at his state. “I told you I would find you.” He said loud enough for Steve to hear. Just hang in there Steve … I’m here for you. Turning to Shuralov he ordered menacingly. “Let him go!”

 

“I don´t think so.” Shuralov volunteered smiling with an air of self-satisfaction.

 

“I don´t think you understood me.” Bucky yelled enraged while aiming his riffle at him. “I said let him go.”

 

“No.” Was Shuralov´s calm answer looking straight at Bucky in defiance. Next he flicked a switch in the console. Immediately an electrical current ran through the chain towards Steve who screamed in pain when the discharge reached him.

 

Bucky took his shot against Shuralov; nothing happened. He shot again sure he had hit the mark the first time. Shuralov laughed before he pressed another button turning some extra-lights on just before flicking the switch off. The whole panel was encased in a bullet proof glass; Bucky´s shoots haven´t even dent it.

 

Bucky frowned upset lowering his gun as he alternated his gaze between Steve who shivered hiding his face from him after the electric shock and Shuralov who smiled pleased.

 

“Now that I´ve made myself clear. Give up or I´ll …” He flicked the switch on again zapping Steve again.

 

Bucky snarled at him irked for an instant before turning his eyes anguished to Steve who writhed in pain. “Wait!” He yelled distressed; down casting his gaze he added. “Let him go … and … I´ll surrender myself to you.” He couldn´t bare Steve suffering like that anymore.

 

“Bucky no!” Steve yelled alarmed through tears of pain.” Don´t do it! I ….” He contorted under a new wave of electricity.

 

“Be quiet.” Shuralov harshly scolded him taking his time to flick the switch off. “We are talking.”

 

Steve trembled strongly in a superhuman effort to quiet his sobs. If Bucky saw him that broken … he fell at the end of his strength.

 

“Surrender yourself … and I´ll let him go.” Shuralov offered in response without any intention of holding up to that promise.

 

Bucky frowned as he kept eyeing both Steve and Shuralov. “How do I know you´ll keep your word?” He asked sternly, he wasn´t sure how much Steve could withstand. He had to think of something …

 

“You don´t.” Shuralov acknowledge wryly. “You can either give up or …” He pulled the lever down dropping Steve a couple of feet’s before stopping his fall harshly; extracting a painful grunt from Steve in the process. “I could just immerse your friend while I flick the switch. I´m curious; what do you think will give out first? His heart or his lungs?” He said arrogantly thinking he had already won.

 

Bucky knew there wasn´t a chance that he would deliver on his word. He turned sideways slightly trying to position himself in the right angle and at the same time keeping his movements hidden from him long as he could. Reaching for Steve´s shield with his left arm he threw it as swiftly as he could against the chain snapping it in half dropping Steve into the water with a loud splash. “How about you die instead?” Within a second he started firing against the bullet proof glass relentlessly knowing it would only take some time to pierce through it. He looked askance at the water surface; there was no sign of Steve. He grunted upset firing one more time at the glass; just small cracks had appeared … he didn´t had the time for that. Without any further delay he plunged into the water after Steve. He found him a couple of meters from the surface struggling to untangle himself from the heavy chain that dragged him down. Swiftly he reached him; their eyes meeting for a few seconds; Steve´s face filled up with relief at his presence warming Bucky´s heart. He tried for a moment to free his hands from the shackles in vain; it was useless they probably had been made for him. Knowing Steve´s air supply wouldn´t last too long he untangled the heavy chain from the shackles and pointed Steve up. Steve nodded in agreement as he laboriously started to make his way to the surface.

 

Shuralov had hidden behind the panel when the first crack appeared on the glass. When Bucky stopped firing he rose up catching a glimpse of him diving into the harbor. Furiously he growled. “This isn´t over … soldier.” Resentfully he pushed a red button. The whole base blinked with red lights; he had activated the self-destruction. Laughing manically while the first explosion caved the ceiling above him unexpectedly. Blood splattered everywhere when a heavy block squashed him. More heavy blocks fell into the water.

 

When Steve rose up from the water big rubble chunks kept falling all around him. He twirled around looking. “Bucky! Bucky!” He yelled desperate; there was no sign of him anywhere. He huffed distraught; next he took a deep breath and submerged looking for him; nothing. “Bucky! Bucky!” He kept calling for him in despair. Forsaking the fact that the whole place seemed to be falling over his head he dived again. This time he went deeper despite his shackled hands. Through murky waters he finally found him; a beam had fallen over him pinning Bucky against the bottom. He tried lifting it up unsuccessfully; looking worryingly at Bucky´s unconscious face he frowned deeply before rising up again. Once in the surface he inspired repeatedly trying to get as much air as possible into his lungs before diving back. Struggling he held Bucky´s face between his shackled hands. “Please …” He begged as he closed his eyes and proceeded to blow all the air in his lungs into his mouth. “Don´t leave me … not again …” He prayed with all his heart.

 

Maybe it was the air being blown into his lungs; maybe it was the soft touch of Steve’s´ lips on his own, but whatever the reason Bucky suddenly came to. He squinted surprised when he found Steve blowing his own air into him with his eyes closed; frowning in deep anguish at his current predicament. Knowing there might not be another chance Bucky held Steve’s’ temples gently and kissed him. If he was going to die he wanted to steal that one moment; he poured his entire soul into that one kiss trying to convey all the love he felt for him. Steve opened his eyes startled. Bucky … his Bucky was … kissing him? His heart pounded hard in his chest overjoyed … if only he wasn´t trapped under the beam. He knew it could very well be their last moment together; he would never abandon him. Closing his eyes again he kissed him back heart fully letting himself fade into their kiss, wishing it could last forever.

 

Suddenly he could feel some movement in the water as well as a low hum growing. Instinctively he opened the eyes to find Tony in his Iron-Man suit looking at them with his arms crossed. Tony was grinning widely inside his helmet. “Just look at you two.” He thought to himself. “The whole place is falling down and you are canoodling.”

 

Steve tapped Bucky´s shoulder hurriedly before breaking their kiss. He pointed the heavy beam to Tony, next he pointed to Bucky and lastly to the surface.

 

Yes, I know. Your boyfriend is pinned down under it.” Tony thought still amused. He nodded affirmatively as he joined Steve in his effort to release Bucky from under the rubble. Between both they raised the beam out of the way not without some effort; Bucky winced slightly when they finally did free him. Noticing Steve signaled quickly to Tony. “Take him up.” Tony swiftly nodded in agreement as he fired his propellers lifting Bucky to the surface in a matter of seconds.

 

Unknown to Tony and Bucky was the fact that Steve had given Bucky all of his air leaving none for himself. After all he had thought he could hold his breath for a very long time; and it would´ve been the truth … if he had been in optimal conditions. Delayed by the weight of the shackles and his worn out body his slow ascent was interrupted by the undeniable instinct to breathe. Betrayed by his need for air, cold water filled his lungs instantly. His eyes widened panicked for an instant as he choked; then … nothing. “He´s safe.” His last conscious thought as he surrendered himself into the darkness.

Tony flew Bucky up to a ledged that oversee the harbor formed by rubble that had fallen from the upper levels where Loki waited for them anxiously. He coughed harshly as he spat some water that had found its way in. “Steve.” He asked hastily between coughs.

 

“Don´t worry he …” Tony turned around expecting to see Steve on the surface waiting for him to lift him up. “Damn!” He coursed out loud plunging back immediately. It didn´t took him long to find Steve´s lifeless body slowly drifting with the current on his way to the bottom of the harbor. “God, no …!” He exclaimed distraught muffling a sob. Gently but quickly he cradled Steve’s body within his arms. He looked at him through tearful eyes; he looked like a sleeping angel, a peaceful smile in his face despite his injured features that were softly stroked by his golden hair floating disarranged with the current.

 

“Tony! What´s wrong?” Loki asked alarmed over the comlink after hearing him. He feared the answer his mind was giving him.

 

“Take Bucky outside …” Tony ordered gravely straining his voice not to break. “I’m taking Steve to the surface with the others … Loki … hurry!”

 

His tone confirmed Loki´s fears; he paled at the thought.

 

“What happened?” Bucky yelled equally alarmed. Something was wrong …

 

“I … don´t know.” Loki lied to him. “He’s´ taking Steve straight to the Quinjet. We´ll need to run.” Loki told him anxiously, he didn´t had enough energy to teleport; not after the harsh battle they had been in.

 

Bucky raised up hastily; without any further word between themselves, they both started running to the exit through the rubble that kept falling in some points of the structure. Their hearts beating fast not only because of the effort but also by the fear of not getting to Steve on time.

 

“Clint!” Tony called out anguished while swiftly making his way through falling rubble. “It´s Steve … he needs help!”

 

“What happened?” Clint inquired worryingly. He only recalled hearing Tony that alarmed before … when Doom took Loki away.

 

“He … drowned … “He could feel the weight the words as he uttered them; making everything real. “I … the whole place is falling down … God!” He struggled to find the right words unbalanced by the loss of his friend.

 

“Tony calm down!” Clint ordered sternly. “How long was he down?” He demanded strongly. I´m not going to lose him.

 

“I … I´m not sure … a minute, maybe two … I don´t know.” He volunteered distraught. Not Steve, not like this …

 

“We haven´t lost him yet, you hear me Tony?” He yelled trying to snap Tony out of his grief. “We haven´t lost him yet! Bring him in as fast as you can. You hear me? Fly him straight to us. “

 

It took Tony a moment to pull himself together; breaking the silence he answered. “Copy that.”

 

Clint and Natasha looked at each other relieved of hearing Tony more calm. In less than a minute they could hear the sound of Tony´s repulsors and quickly scanned the skies for him.

As soon as he landed they ran towards him. Their eyes widened for a second harrowed; Steve´s lips had a blueish tone, partly because of the lack of oxygen partly due to the ice cold water he had been plunged in.

 

“Oh God!” Clint exclaimed distraught as he meant to take Steve from Tony´s armored arms. Steve was stone-cold and soaking wet nothing on him except for his trousers. Without thinking it twice he removed his jacket and wrapped Steve with it as he lifted him with great effort and took him inside the Quinjet. Lying Steve in the floor of the craft he told Natasha hurryingly. “I´ll do the compressions, you breathe for him.” Natasha agreed with a nod as she started to count the compressions. Thirty chest compressions followed by two rescue breaths; they had to stick to that rythm. Clint pushed with all his strenght, suddenly he looked up for Tony. “We need to raise his temperature … bring the emergency blankets and … I don´t know; does this thing have a heating setting or something?”

 

“If it doesn´t it will have in a minute.” Tony volunteered removing the rest of his armour as fast as he could.

 

Loki and Bucky arrived as Natasha leaned to listen for normal breath sounds, checking for Steve´s breath on her cheek and ear. “Nothing.” She volunteered anxiously.

 

“Don´t do this to us Steve …” Clint scolded him distraught while continuing with the compressions. Natasha kept giving him two breaths every 30 compressions expectantly.

 

Tony placed his hand over his mouth nervously. He had done everything Clint had asked of him; having nothing else to do made him feel useless. Loki knew exactly how he felt; healing spells didn´t covered deaths by drowning either. He walked up to Tony slowly and looked into his eyes sorrowful. Tony took his eyes from Steve when he felt his gaze on him; their emotions mirrored in each other´s teary eyes. They held each other hands with a tight grip desperately trying to give each other the slightest measurement of comfort, soon their eyes were brought back to the scene playing in front of them.

 

Bucky was on his knees beside Steve; hoping against all odds for a miracle. Thick tears travelled from his eyes soaking the floor beneath him s time passed. Fearfully he reached for Steve´s motionless hand and very sweetly hold it in his. He broke down heartbroken leaning down enough to hold Steve’s hand to his face; he kissed it softly sniffling … he was so cold, so cold.  With great effort he quiets his own sobs; he needed to say it even if it was too late. “I … I kept my promise Stevie … remember? I told you … that I would find you … no matter what.” He had to stop as he sniffled letting out a heart broken sigh. It wasn´t fair … he had lost him … he had just got him back and now he had lost him … again. Bawling he reproached him. “You just had … to … hold on.” He couldn´t continue; it hurt too much. Almost at the same time a choking sound came from Steve´s throat followed by harsh coughing that threw some water out of his lungs.

 

Swiftly Clint and Natasha turned him sideways allowing the rest of the water to come out. When he finished coughing they laid him down again. All of them were crying tears of joys without exception; feeling fortunate to have him back with them.

 

Steve looked at them questioningly through tired eyes and gingerly asked in a coarse voice. “Who died?”

 

“You did! You stupid punk!” Bucky told him while leaning down to embrace him; scooping him up between his arms tightly as he kept crying overwhelmed.

 

“No … I didn´t … jerk.” Steve jokingly answered relieved everything had ended. He was on Bucky´s arms; the only place he had always felt safe. He sighed satisfied just as he had done so many times before when they were kids. “Bucky … you are squeezing me too tight.” He complained wincing under Bucky´s tight embrace.

 

“Tough luck.” Bucky repplied strong headed as he loosen his embrace to look Steve straight to his eyes. “Because I´m never letting you go. You hear me? Never again!” Next he kissed him passionately, surprising a wide-eyed Steve that melted within a second in his arms.

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