Fireangel76

My Writtings

Month: September 2015

Letting go

“We can´t keep meeting like this Leah. It isn´t fair for any of us, especially for you.” The man sitting beside her in the sand told her while looking at the vast sea in front of them.

“Why not Martin?” Leah asked him back.

“Because you are alive and I´m not. You have to stop clinging to the past. It only hurts you.” Martin answered without looking at her.

“Maybe I like the pain.” Leah told him with defiance.

“No, you don´t.” Martin´s brown eyes turned to face hers. “And you know it.”

“I hate it when you act like a know-all.” Leah pouted visibly upset.

“Because you know I am right.” Martin told her with a smirk.

“You´re so annoying! You always were especially in elementary school.” Leah pouted again frowning.

“I loved your braids.” Martin suddenly told her.

“You loved to pull them.” Leah complained.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention?” Martin asked her with a smile.

“By being polite.” Leah snapped at him.

Nah, you wouldn´t have noticed me. You always had a mischievous streak on you. And I think that is the reason he noticed you.” Martin volunteered.

“Please tell me you´re not thinking about giving me love advices now.” She looked at him disapprovingly.

“He is a good man, you know?” Martin told her while he leaned back to contemplate the sky.

“I doubt he will agree with you.” Leah pointed out.

“He is, it doesn´t matter if he knows it or not. And he loves you.” Martin turned his gaze back to her as he said his last sentence.

“And I love him, but I love you too.” Leah answered sadly as she rested her chin on her folded knees.

“Death do us apart my love.” Martin hugged her as he continued. “For a moment there I was afraid you would join us.”

“Afraid? Why not happy?” Leah inquired puzzled by his words.

“I thought you would know the answer to that already.” Martin calmly told her.

“Maybe I need to hear it from you.” Leah suggested.

“Because you were given a second opportunity, to love, to a family, to all the things we couldn´t have…” He was interrupted by Leah nervous laugh.

“I´m sorry” She quickly apologized. “A second chance in a world I don´t fit in, they are superheroes for crying out loud. And I am, I was a housewife; how long can I pretend to fit in their world until something goes terribly wrong?” Her voice broke, something had already gone terribly wrong.

Martin looked at her with compassion. “Leah, this isn´t you, it´s the fear talking.”

“Why shouldn´t I be afraid? Doom killed me and if he had the time he would´ve raped me first; he would´ve taken Eerika if it wasn´t for Loki. Furthermore SHIELD is after me I don´t know why. I know Loki and the others will try to keep me safe, but at what cost? What if the next one to die is Loki? I would fall apart and I can´t afford to, who would look after Eerika then? Why didn´t I just died with you in the accident?” She broke down.

Martin tried to comfort her hugging her tighter. “You can´t keep doing this to yourself. I don´t know why you survived the crash but there must be a reason, you just have to be brave enough to find it. And I know you, you can be that brave.” He grabbed Leah by her shoulders so he could look into her eyes. “The Leah I know wouldn´t give up, you are too stubborn to give up. So what if you never are as strong or powerful or well-trained as they are, no one has asked you to be a super-hero, just be yourself.”

“What if I’m not good enough?” Leah asked between sniffling’s.

“Good enough for what Leah? For being a mother? A loving companion? You were the best friend, lover and wife I could ever asked for, you are more than enough. You will be a wonderful mother too if you give yourself a chance.”

“Maybe for you … but for him … I don´t know. I crashed into his life, what if I´m just an accident?” She said anguished.

“Ask him.” Martin suggested. “If you are that afraid ask him.”

“I don´t want to.” Leah told him while looking down when suddenly a strong pull on her hair made her turned angered at Martin. “Ow, stop that.”

“That´s more like it.” Martin told her with a smirk. “That’s you, the feisty girl who doesn’t take crap off nobody. “

“It´s not that easy” Leah pouted still angry.

“Why not? Because they have superpowers? You do too silly girl, and you had just given birth when you were invaded, I doubt anyone else could´ve done what you did. I keep telling you, you were given a second chance, please don´t waste it. I want you to be happy, stop getting in your way.”

“I … I don´t want to forget about you or … Richard.” She confessed while tears threatened to pour out again.

“Loki and Eerika aren´t replacements Leah, you have room in your heart for all of us. But you need to concentrate on them now, they need you whole.” His voice conveyed the urgency of the matter.

“I don´t feel whole.” Leah admitted as she leaned into Martin.

“You need to get your confidence back, don´t you remember what you used to tell me when I was down? Everything happens for a reason but you´ll never find what that reason is if …”

“If you don´t get off your butt” Leah completed his sentence while laughing at the memory. “I sincerely don´t know how you put out with me sometimes.”

“Because you were worth it.” Martin answered with a big grin. “Now, off your butt. Don´t let Doom break you, don´t let him or anyone else stand in your way.”

“How do I do that? Forget. ” Leah asked him anxiously, she feared oblivion as a beast that would consume all.

“You don´t forget love, you move on by letting go.” Martin volunteered.

“Letting go what?” Leah asked puzzled.

“Everything that hurts you.” Martin moved to face her. “You´ve grown yourself accustomed to clinging to the past even if it only brings you pain you cling to it with desperation, you need to stop.”

“How?” Leah wasn´t even sure she could, he was right. Some day’s pain was the only thing that remind her she was still alive.

“By living in the present, not the past, not some distant future, by clinging instead to the second in hand. Life is wonderful and mysterious and it can end in any second, stop wasting it.” He told her with passion.

“By letting you go.” Leah acknowledged at the brim of tears.

“And Richard” Martin added, “And Doom.”

“I don´t know if I can do that.” Leah confessed.

“I know you can, that´s why I came to you, to remind you.” Martin volunteered. “And to say goodbye.”

“But I don’t want to let you go.” Leah said anguished.

“I´m afraid I´m not giving you a choice hunny bunny.” Martin´s eyes reflected all the love he felt for her.

“I won´t see you again?” Leah asked devastated.

“No, unless you need me to pull some sense into your braids.” Martin joked.

“Smart ass.” Leah pretend to pout offended.

“Crazy girl.” Martin called her affectively.

“So, this is goodbye?” Leah inquired nervously “Forever?”

“Forever sounds so definitive. Until we meet again?” He suggested.

“I like how that sounds” She agreed while nodding affirmatively.

“Don´t be in a hurry, savor every moment. We both know life is fragile, embrace it. Stop waiting, make things happen.” Martin told her with a smile as he stood up facing the sea. “He´s been waiting all his life for someone like you, don´t keep him waiting any longer.”

“I feel like I don´t know him, not like I knew you.” Leah confessed while getting up.

“Then get to know him, we knew each other most of our lives, and you have a lifetime to know him.” Martin volunteered. “Take care of them and yourself, don´t let me down. He looked up at the distance, a small boy walked to them. Leah´s heart skipped a beat when she saw him, she just knew. “Richard!” She ran to meet him.

“Hi mummy! Don´t be sad. I´m all right, daddy is with me.” He told her as Leah sobbed uncontrollably while embracing him.

“I´m sorry love, I´ll try not to cry.” Leah sniffled.

“That´s better” Richard smiled warmly at her. “My sister wouldn´t like you to be sad either.” His eyes were blue like hers.

“No, she wouldn´t.” Leah acknowledged drying her tears and smiling him back.

“Don´t stop smiling mummy, you look beautiful.” He told her happily “I love you”

“I´ll do my best.” Leah nodded affirmatively.

“Daddy!” Richard ran to Martin who carried him up, they were both laughing, they looked radiant.

“They will be all right” Leah thought to herself.

“And you will be too.” Martin told her reading her thoughts.

“How can you be so sure?” Leah asked him.

“Because I know you better than you think you crazy girl, you just need someone to pull your braids once in a while to remind you.” Martin joked.

“Don´t you dare!!”Leah warned him.

“That´s not my job anymore love” Richard warmly answered her as he winked an eye. “Until we meet again.”

“Until we meet again.” Leah answered with a sad smile as she hugged and kissed them one last time. She stood in the sand as she watched them walk to the sunrise, they suddenly faded into the light.

Leah woke up suddenly sitting up, their names frozen in her mouth, tears running free as she whispered. “Until we meet again.”

Her sudden movement had awoken Loki who sat up looking at her worryingly “Leah, what´s wrong? Did you had a nightmare?”

“No.” Leah nodded her head negatively while drying her tears with the palm of her hands. “Loki, do you believe in ghosts?”

“Mm, I´m not sure. I think so.” He told her trying to figure out why she would ask him such a thing.

“I had a dream with Martin and Richard, they came to say goodbye.” She turned to embrace him.

“Goodbye?” He asked in an inquisitive tone.

“Martin said I should stop clinging to the past.” Leah told him remembering the conversation.

“He sounds like a wise man.” Loki agreed.

“He also told me you are a good man.” Leah added.

“A little naïve maybe.” Loki suggested.

Leah laughed “I told him you would disagree.”

Loki smiled at her, then laid back to bed while embracing her to his chest. “And what did he said?”

“That you are a good man whether you know it or not.” Leah volunteered.

“So, that means he´s giving us his blessing?” Loki asked her jokingly

“I think so.” Leah acknowledged.

“I think it´s a little too late for that.” Loki told her with a smirk.

Suddenly Leah´s expression turned to a somber on as she raised to look back at Loki. “Loki, you don´t need to tell me what happened when Doom shot me.”

“I thought you wanted to know.” Loki told her confused by her change of mind.

“I don´t need to. I already know how it feels like when you lose someone you love.” She told him apologetically.

“She does” Loki reasoned. “And she didn´t had the luck of getting them back.” He answered in the same apologetic tone “I´m sorry Leah, I shouldn´t had said that. I just was so angry….”

Leah placed her finger in his mouth cautioning silence. “Don´t apologize, I deserved it for being a selfish child.”

“You are not selfish.” Loki complained.

“But I was.” Leah confessed. “Will you listen to me? I need to tell you so many things. Please don´t say anything until I´m finish, I may not find the courage to tell you again.” She pleaded while looking to his eyes.

“All right, I´ll listen”. Loki agreed, Leah let out a relief sigh as she lay her head in his chest, she suddenly felt cold; she snuggled against him trying to get herself warm.

“Ever since the accident I felt like a big abnormality, a fluke, I´ve never understood why I was the only survivor, and how of all places I could’ve wander off I walked right in the middle of your fight with Thor, why of all days you choose that day to remember your brotherly love for Thor, how without any idea of what I was doing I managed to find you afterwards or why you decided to visit me when I hadn´t stopped thinking about the family I lost. I wasn´t ready to find love again when whatever that was that happened between us started, I would never had imagine or even dream of it happening in real life. I still can´t understand why you stayed when … if I were you I wouldn´t. Afterwards everything happened so fast I didn’t had time to figure out what you meant for me, or maybe I was afraid to accept it but when I finally did all I felt was your lose; even when we were just a few centimeters from each other in the Tower. And then Doom happened, I thought I would be able to defend myself and Eerika against him now that I had super soldier abilities but I was wrong, even with the training I wasn´t an opponent for him.” She could hear Loki softly grunting. “I know it wasn´t a real training, my pregnancy forbid it but I thought I was at least becoming someone worthy of walking between super-heroes and gods. I just … I really can´t understand how we got here, what if I´m just an accident in your life? I know you love me, but; what does that really means? What am I to you? What does this all means for Eerika? I’m not talking about foolish dreams of princesses and happy endings, I don´t want you to worry about me all the time. I just want to know how do I fit in here, I don´t want to be just an accident.” She sighed with relief, as if by saying all her fears out loud she had lifted a huge weight from her chest.

Loki looked at her with understanding, he had asked himself many of her questions before. “You are right, we have never really talked about what we have between us is. You are definitely much more than a lover, but I would feel weird calling you my girlfriend because that description doesn´t even cover what I feel for you; but I´m not sure either of us are ready for a more permanent title. At this point all that I know is that you and me were meant to be; when I first visited you I really never meant for things to go the way they did, but something just made me come back to you time after time. I think you are my Urdr, my destiny not an accident, not a fluke; but what else the Norns have carved in Yggdrasil I don´t know. I just know I feel blessed that our paths crossed even with all the difficulties and heartache we have had to overcome.

I don´t know if it helps you find any meaning to all that has happened, all that I can tell you is that I love you, more than I´ve ever loved someone and I can´t picture my life without you or Eerika anymore. I just need you in my life, you gave me hope back.

Leah could feel her heart racing, if everything that had happened to both of them had lead them to that very instant maybe … maybe it had been worth it. She felt Loki´s words melting away all her doubts and fears leaving only her undeniable love for him.

“I´ve been so foolish” She scolded herself; she had a new chance at love, at happiness and she had been so close to ruining it. Loki was there with her, he loved her and needed her just as much as she needed him.

“You´re not foolish” Loki corrected her.

“But I was and I want to make it up to you.” Leah offered while she straddled over Loki in one swift move, her lips locked on his as she leaned forward rubbing herself against him. She had caught Loki completely by surprise, he moaned into her mouth as the arousing sensation travelled up his spine. Suddenly he rolled over pinning her down. “Wait Leah, you don´t have to do this …” He was worried she was doing out of just a wish to make things right between them instead of … Leah´s own moan interrupted his thoughts, his warm body over hers had been enough to entice her senses, Loki looked at her, he knew that look, she was ready “… unless you want to.” He ended still debating with himself.

Leah pulled him down for a fervent kiss that extracted another moan from Loki. “I want to.” She said in a murmur before rolling down to pin him down again. She was still wearing her jeans and jersey, Loki hadn’t wanted to risk waking her up so he let her sleep on her clothes, but he had changed into a long sleeves and pants pajama. Leah bit her lower lip mischievously, she would take advantage of that. Without further preamble she ducked under the covers and quickly pulled Loki´s pants and briefs down releasing his erecting member.

Loki had barely recovered from her kiss when he started to ask “What are … oh my!” He writhed in ecstasy, she had lead his penis into her mouth and had already started to move her hand up and down slowly and rhythmically.

She was bent on pleasuring him, taking her time to explore his every reaction to her flicking his foreskin with her tongue. It had been over a month since they had sex, but she had been pregnant then.

Loki panted with each motion, he had started trusting into her mouth; her tongue playfully teased him with tickling sensations that drove him even closer to his climax. “Faster!” he pleaded, he was so close. Leah was only too happy to comply, his shameless pants and moans drove her more excited than she already felt. With a loud moan Loki cum into her mouth, she had eagerly been waiting for this, she swallowed his seed greedily; it tasted like him. She didn´t wanted to be anywhere else that at his side ever again; as his erection faded she came out from under the covers to find a still flustered Loki trying to catch his breath. She might not noticed but he had, having the abilities of a super soldier certainly had its advantages he thought. She was stronger and faster. Sex would be a whole new experience from now on, and he welcomed the thought gladly.

“So, am I forgiven?” She jokingly asked him.

“I´m thinking about it.” Loki answered her with a big grin.

“Oh! So you want to play like that?” Leah scolded him jokingly while reaching for his manhood under the covers.

“No, wait …I forgive you! I forgive you!” Loki volunteered quickly, he still wasn´t ready for round number two.

“I thought you would” Leah teased him with a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“What came over you?” Loki asked her surprised, not that he was against it, but her change seem too sudden.

“I told you, Martin and I had a talk.” Leah explained while resting her head on his chest, she found the sound of his heart so comforting. “He told me to seize the moment or he would pull my braids to remind me.”

“Pull your braids?” Loki asked intrigued.

“He used to do that when we were kids, I used to think he did it because he didn´t liked me, it turned out to be quite the opposite. It kind of became our private joke over the years.” She smiled at the memories, somehow they didn´t hurt as much, he was right.

“To remind you what?” Loki asked her.

“That I´m alive” She turned to face him, she didn´t looked sad as she normally did on those rare occasions she talked about her deceased husband or child.

“I think I would´ve liked him.” Loki told her full-heartedly.

“I think you would.” Leah acknowledged while kissing him.

Suddenly Loki rolled her pinning her down to the bed; he stuffed his hand under her jeans reaching for her pubic area, she was already wet. “Seems someone need a bit of attention.” He purred into her ear as he slid a finger inside her.

“Ungh!” She moaned, he was right.

“But first let´s get you out of this clothes.” He added as he pulled his hand form under her jeans and started to unbutton them; in less than a minute they were both naked.

A couple of hours afterwards the sound of running water filled their room, they finally had managed to get to the shower, while Leah rinsed her long hair Loki watched her attentively. This time they were together for real, not only at night on her so called dreams, not separated by his prison glass, this was a new experience all together. It might have good days, it might have bad ones, but as long as they both remembered what was important he had the feeling they would be all right. He walked over to Leah startling her, he embraced her strongly while pushing his naked body against hers.

“Again?!” Leah asked surprised, his member was hard once more.

“It´s your fault, you started it.” He teased her while gently squeezing her breasts “I only intent on finishing it.” With that he bent Leah over exposing her entrance to him, he fondled her gently looking for her clitoris. Leah moaned responding to his touch, he had to steady herself by placing her hands against the wall she had in front of her. Loki skillfully twirled his fingers deeper as he searched for her g-spot, Leah´s knees buckled when he did. “Oh go!” She exclaimed, she wasn´t sure she could keep that pace for long, but she didn’t mind finding out.

Suddenly fingers were replaced by his strong member slowly burring itself deeper into her, she moaned in wanton, she couldn´t have enough of him either.

“Get down on your knees.” Loki whispered lustfully in her ear before nibbling on her lobe.

“No, I´ll fall.” Leah complained, they were still under the running water and she felt too aroused for him to pull out.

The playful stinging swat that stoke her bottom cheek caught her by surprise, Loki didn´t wanted to pull out either, but the position was too uncomfortable due to her shorter height. “Do as I say or I might just have to spank you, you naughty girl!” He seductively menaced her.

Leah gasped, on one side she wasn´t sure if she wanted to play that game, on the other side it sounded terribly enticing. A second swat on the same place snapped her out of her thoughts. “Ow!” She complained, she could feel it smarting.

“So?” Loki asked her noticing her indecision. “Do you need more convincing?”

“No! Wait.” The sensation of his cock inside of her along with the sting on her butt combined were sending all sorts of new sensations … maybe on another occasion; she would hate to have to explain to Clint why she winced while sitting down. “I´ll kneel.” She offered nervously while slowly bending her knees to get down, Loki helped her avoiding her to fall as he got down with her. As soon as they had reached the floor he moved into a more comfortable position holding onto her hips as he slowly pounded into her periodically teasing her with pulling out only to push himself deeper, within minutes Leah was moaning loudly as she came, she could feel her fluids rolling down her inner tights and her arms quivering. Loki wasn´t done yet and held her tights hard as he kept trusting vigorously into her until they both came again.

After they had finished bathing while dressing up Leah peeked at her bottom through the mirror, it had no mark on it as she thought it would. “Would you really had spanked me?” She asked Loki with curiosity.

“Only if you wanted me to.” Loki winked an eye at her.

“Oh!” Leah exclaimed blushing.

“Do you want me to?” Loki asked her with mischief written all over his face.

“No!” Leah quickly responded while protectively placing her hands over her buttocks.

“As you wish” He jokingly teased her as he grabbed her through her waist before gently kissing her. “I would never hurt you” He confessed. “I love you too much.”

Leah smiled back at him s she placed her arms around his neck returning his kiss. “I love you too.”

When they joined Clint for lunch later that day they both nearly choked on their food when he innocently asked them “So, you made up, right?”

What now?

After a while Leah started to feel sleepy, resting her head on Loki´s lap made her feel safe, she had no idea how much she had craved that sort of peace. She drowsily told Loki again. “I´m sorry I said you would be better off without me.”

Loki turned his gaze to her and sighed. “I know you are, but it won´t just magically disappear because you say you are.”

Leah asked him. “How do I fix it then?” She wished she could just take it back.

“I don´t know” Loki confessed.

“Tell me what happened” Leah requested with a serious look.

“I thought you said you remember now. “ Loki answered confused.

“Not everything” Leah told him. “I don´t know what happened when I died.”

“Why would you want to know that? “ Loki asked her with a frown on his face.

“To understand.” Leah volunteered with a yawn.

“I think you are too tired now.” Loki told her.

“I´m not that tired.” Leah snapped at him as she swiftly sat up, she closed her eyes while rubbing the back of her head; she scolded herself mentally for moving too fast.

Loki looked at her concerned. “Are you all right?”

“Just give me a couple of aspirins and I´ll be fine by the morning.” Leah joked while still rubbing her nape.

Loki looked at her the blow to her head when she fainted was obvious; but he hadn´t noticed the bruises on her knuckles before. Suddenly Leah interrupted his thoughts.

“So, are you going to tell me? I can finish telling you the rest of my story first if you want.” Leah offered.

“I really think we should wait until tomorrow.” Loki volunteered.

“I don´t want to wait.” Leah whined, she just wanted to get it over with, sleeping could wait.

Loki sighed disapprovingly. “All right, suit yourself.”

Leah quickly referred the rest of her story to Loki, she still hadn´t noticed she nursed her injuries as her story passed by.

“And then you arrived; you know everything now.” She told him with a yawn.

“You need to sleep.” Loki advised her.

“But I don´t want to.” Leah complained while snuggling against Loki, her energy was totally spent.

Loki stroked her head softly. “We can finish this in the morning, now rest.” He had barely spoken the words when he noticed Leah had fallen asleep, he let out a soft chuckle before carrying Leah in his arms. As he walked back to their room he found himself in deep though, he had to talk to Clint.

As soon as he had tuck Leah in their bed he searched for Clint finding him in the kitchen cooking dinner.

“You didn´t told me everything that happened.” Loki told him while leaning in the door frame.

“What?” Clint asked startled by Loki´s presence.

“You slapped Leah” Loki asseverated crossing his arms.

“Oh! About that …she told you?” Clint asked surprised.

“Only because she thought you had already told me.” Loki asserted.

Clint shrugged his shoulders. “It just …happened. I got angry, would you done it differently?”

“I don´t know” Loki acknowledged with a sigh. “I was so angry at her when she finally told me we got into a huge argument.” Loki explained Clint everything that had happened.

“At least she remembers now.” Clint volunteered.

“But I´m still worried.” Loki admitted. “Do you think she’ll try to do something?”

Clint frowned while twisting his mouth. If you are asking me if I think she´ll purposely hurt herself the answer is no; however … did you noticed the bruises on her knuckles?”

“Yes.” Loki answered with a scowl.

“She really didn´t do it on purpose, she was just venting her anger at the punching bag … that´s the kind of thing I´m worried about. She might be more than a little reckless for a while, we definitely need to keep an eye on her.” Clint suggested.

Loki kept his frown, it still bothered him she could just dismiss herself so easily. His emotions were clear enough for Clint to read. “You need to forgive her Loki, it was her pain doing the talking. She didn’t really thought it through.”

As Loki remained silent Clint said. “Something else is bothering you.”

“She said yesterday” Loki finally confessed.

“She´s just confused it will become clearer with time.” Clint reassured him.

“And Fury” Loki ended.

“Yes, I´ve been thinking about him too.” Clint confessed.

“I used to think he was using her to get to me, but I´m not so sure now,” Loki volunteered.

“I thought that too, now I have the feeling he wants her for a very particular mission or purpose.” Clint acknowledged.

“I hate being in the dark” Loki snapped.

“I´m afraid we don´t have a choice for now, I could try getting in touch with the team but I don´t feel comfortable leaving you alone with Leah and Eerika; at least not yet.” Clint told him.

“This is just a big mess.” Loki complained while sitting at the dinner table as he leaned his head into his hands with an utter sense of defeat.

“That’s life pal, it never comes easily especially when it comes to family.” Clint sympathetically told him while serving himself a cup of coffee before sitting in front of Loki.

Loki raised his head. “Clint, I´ve been meaning to ask you … “He hesitated for a second. “Do you have children?”

Clint laughed a bit before taking a sip of his coffee. “Yes, two and a beautiful wife.” He proudly told him. “I thought you would never ask.”

“How do you even make it work?” Loki asked.

“It´s not easy” He volunteered. “I try to be with them as much as I can. But keeping them off the radar just makes in more difficult.”

“I don´t know if I´ll ever be able to make this work.” Loki told him with sincerity.

“You will, don´t worry. Just take it one step at the time and you´ll figure it out eventually.” Clint reassured him.

“That´s how you do it?” Loki asked him.

“That and listening to my wife.” Clint said with a smirk. “You´ll do just fine stop worrying.”

“How do you know?” Loki asked again, he didn´t felt that confident at all.

“Because I see how you look at them; you love them. You would do anything for them. You just have to do your best and hope it´s enough. No matter how bad things get if you can remember why you´re doing it at the end of the day you´ll be fine. “Clint volunteered.

“I hope you are right.” Loki admitted.

“I know I am” Clint reassured him. “Now back to business, if you took me out to find out what happened I don´t see how to report back to you safely without unknowingly leading you into a trap.”

“I hoped to set up an untraceable communication center in the house but I ran out of time.” Loki confessed still annoyed he had though at the last time they could do without.

“Wait a second! “ Clint exclaimed. “Do you still have Leah’s belongings from the time she tried to escape? “

“Mm, yes. I think so.” Loki answered intrigued.

“Tony had made her an untraceable cell phone and since you sent her empty handed I´m assuming it might still be among her stuff.” Clint suggested.

“Why don´t we just snatch Tony out of the Tower?” Loki asked him, he could set up the untraceable communication center in maybe a couple of hours.

“What if you run into SHIELD there?” Clint asked him in response.

“I won’t.” Loki asseverated. “I gave you the short tour when I brought you here, but I can stay in the paths of Yggdrasil for a good fifteen minutes, that should be enough time to locate Tony and bring him here.”

“That´s how you delivered her roses.” Clint smiled with understanding.

“Exactly.” Loki asseverated.

“It sound like a plan, but I still think we should wait until Leah´s better.” Clint suggested.

“Why?” Loki asked in earnest.

“Because if something goes wrong we need her in her best shape.” Clint asseverated.

But you are my mess

When Leah woke up she found Loki staring attentively at her. “Hi!! He cheerfully greeted her.

“Um …hi?” Leah answered feeling a bit awkward.

“How are you feeling?” Loki asked her

“Spent” Leah confessed, even if she had slept a couple of hours she really didn´t felt rested.

“I guess I would feel that way too if I´d cried that much.” Loki reasoned.

“Oh, god!” Suddenly she remembered and covered her face ashamed. “Don´t look at me, my eyes must be all red and puffy.”

“Yes, just like your nose” Loki replied, as soon as he had so Leah snatched the pillow from beneath her and used it to hide her face. “Oh! Come on! It´s not like I hadn´t seen you like this before. As a matter of fact I´ve seen you worse.”

Leah loudly complained with a whining sound as she turned around hiding her face in the bed while still holding the pillow over her nape. She knew exactly what he meant, the first time he visited her she was heavily drunk and it wasn´t the only time he saw her like that. “I´m such a mess!” she exclaimed embarrassed at the memories.

Loki made his best effort not to burst laughing, when had she become so self-conscious? Maybe she never cared before because she thought he was a dream. With a big grin he approached her and in a swift move pulled her out of the pillow and into his arms. “That may be true, but you are My Mess” Without further words he kissed her. Leah gasped surprised at first, she blinked her eyes a few times before the depth of his kiss swooned her; as she closed her eyes and surrender he suddenly broke contact leaving her feeling dazed.

“I cooked something for you” He proudly volunteered as he retrieved a tray from the night stand on his side of the bed. “I didn´t knew what you might have a craving for so I made you some waffles, eggs and bacon, chicken with fires and of course strawberries.”

Leah looked at the tray amazed “Wow, you really cooked allthat?”

“Of course I did, why you look so surprised? What did you thought that I magically appeared all my meals.” Loki inquired.

“Well … to say the truth, yes. That´s what I thought.” Leah confessed while scratching the back of her head nervously.

“That would be a waste of my magic, why would I use my magic on that when I´m perfectly capable of cooking for myself” Loki explained her a bit offended by her answer.

“I´m sorry. I didn´t knew. I just … never mind.” As she tasted her first bite she was pleasantly surprised. “Mm, this is really good” She quickly complimented him before taking another bite, she didn’t know just how hungry she was until she started eating. “You are full of surprises” She added as she stuffed her mouth with a strawberry. “I´m starting to feel like I really don´t know you.” She confessed before taking another bite.

“Well, we can get reacquainted if you want.” Loki shamelessly pureed in a flirting tone making Leah choke on her food.

As she coughed trying to get her breath back Loki quickly told her. “I was only kidding, are you all right?”

Leah nodded her head affirmatively while she took a sip of her orange juice still coughing.

“I promise I´ll wait until you feel ready, all right?” He volunteered.

“Ok” Leah answered still trying not to cough; he had caught her completely off guard.

“Clint told you?” Leah asked as soon as her cough subsided. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Loki knowing.

“Yes, he told me everything. I wished you had told me … I didn’t knew what to think about your behavior, if I had … “Loki was telling Leah when she suddenly interrupted him.

“I didn´t wanted you to know, I wished I had forget about it. I can´t understand why of all things that I can remember. “Leah wryly admitted.

“I wish I could give you an answer to that” Loki acknowledged

“But you can´t” Leah told him.

“No, and I can´t undo what Doom did to you either. But I want you to know that you don´t need to feel ashamed, you did nothing wrong. It was not your fault.” Loki volunteered while looking into her eyes.

“I don´t know.” Leah confessed.

“Well, I do” Loki confirmed. “You don´t have to hide this sort of things from me. You can talk to me about anything, don’t you know? Can we agree on not hiding things from each other? No more secrets?” Loki inquired while holding her hand.

“I … I´d like that.” Leah agreed nodding her head before looking into Loki´s eyes as she told him. “ I don´t know what I would do if I didn´t had you to help me get through this.”

Loki warmly smiled at her as he answered. “Leah, you risked more than your life for us, don´t think I´ve forgotten about Doom´s menace. I know you saved my life right there. Do you really think I could leave you alone to deal with this?”

Leah blushed slightly, he was right. “No, I´m sorry. I don´t know what goes through my mind lately.” Suddenly she turned serious as he asked him.” Loki, Clint said Doom killed me, is …. is that true?”

Loki´s expression changed to a somber one.” I´m afraid he did.”

Leah looked at him, she couldn´t wrapped her head around it yet. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Loki sighed, that was a moment he wished he could forget; as he closed his eyes he nodded affirmatively. “I will, but I need to know too.”

“What happened after you left?” Leah bit nervously her lower lip while she considered her answer. “You´re not going to like it.”

“Neither will you.” Loki volunteered with sorrow on his eyes.

“It might be a very long talk, could we see Eerika first?” Leah asked him in hope, she might not have the strength or presence of mind to do it later.

“Of course.” Loki agreed; it would be hard on her and seeing Eerika might help. “Finish your food first.”

Leah looked at the tray; suddenly she didn’t felt that hungry any more, as she opened her mouth to say something Loki cautioned her. “Don’t you even think on telling me you´re not hungry.”

“But …” Leah pouted.

“No, you need to eat.” He warned her with a serious frown. When he noticed Leah´s worried reaction he softens his demand. “Please Leah, you haven´t eaten since the attack. I´m worried about you.”

“All right” Leah agreed with a defeatist sigh, she hated the idea of causing him any pain. “Only for you.”

After she had finished her food they walked over to the nursery where they were greeted by Clint. “Look pumpkin, its mummy!”

“Pumpkin?” Leah turned to Loki with a questioning look.

“Seems Clint is getting awfully fond of Eerika, he´s even come up with a pet name.” Loki answered shrugging his shoulders.

Leah raised her eyebrows surprised. “Ok” She smiled at the memories of the day her daughter was born when everyone was competing for Eerika´s attention; for such a group of tough men they certainly turned to pudding for a baby.

“She just woke up” Clint told her as he approached them and gently placed Eerika in Leah´s arms.

“Hi love” Leah´s eyes glistened; for an instant during her struggle with Doom she really came to thought she would never see her daughter ever again.

“Maybe we should give them a moment” Clint suggested Loki in a low tone.

Loki nodded approvingly as he told Leah “We’ll be tight outside should you need us.”

“I know, I shouldn´t be crying. You´re going to think that I cry all the time, but I’m so glad to see you” Leah told Eerika as soon as they were alone. “I´m sorry it took me so long.” Leah confessed while tears rolled down her face. As she leaned to look to her daughters face a tiny hand reached for her “I love you too.” She told her full-heartily as she leaned down even further so Eerika´s hand would touch her face. She smiled how she could even consider the possibility of leaving them it was now beyond her comprehension. “Daddy is right, you know. Mummy isn´t all right now. But I´ll get better … I promise, whatever it takes.” She meant it, there was no turning back no matter how hard things were for her she had two very powerful reasons to overcome it. She would have to make sure to never forget it again.

“How is she?” Clint asked Loki as soon as they were in the hallway.

“She seems better” Loki acknowledged. “She even agreed to tell me about her fight with Doom if I tell her about … what happen afterwards.”

“Do you think she’s up to that?” Clint asked him preoccupied.

“I´m not sure, I guess we´ll just have to find out.” Loki volunteered.

Clint sighed, it might be too fast for that, though they couldn´t hide it from her either. “You´re probably right. Just don´t give her too much details.”

“I wasn´t …” Loki started to tell him when Clint interrupted him again. “Keep it simple, don´t say anything about blood and stuff.”

Loki looked at Clint shocked, as he disrupted Clint’ ramble he express his annoyance to such idea. “I´d never tell her that. What in Helheim makes you think I would?” Suddenly he remembers Thor´s colorful battle recollections “On second thought, don´t answer that.”

After a bit more than half an hour Leah came out of the nursery, she had feed Eerika and lulled Eerika to sleep. Loki was alone waiting for her; Clint had gone to the kitchen to fix himself something to eat. As if it were an old habit he had taken the baby´s monitor with him.

“I´m ready” She told Loki with a stern look.

“All right.” Loki agreed “We can talk in the study.”

Leash followed Loki to the study, it was filled with glass cases and book cases; she admired them briefly before noticing Loki had led her to a small living room placed on the left corner in the room.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Loki asked her concerned.

“No, but I think I have to.” Leah wryly told him.

“If it becomes too intense for you we can stop whenever you want.” Loki offered her.

“Thank you. But I´d rather do this just once.” Leah volunteered.

“Do you want me to start first?” Loki asked her.

“No, I think I should go first” Leah replied; then she bit her lips nervously while she tried to figure out how to start. “I´m not sure how to start.” She finally confessed to Loki.

“I´m curious, what would you have done if Doom hadn´t agreed to let us go?” Loki asked her trying to help her get started.

“Probably killed him.” Leah said without flinching, she had asked herself that question before and no matter how many times she thought of it she couldn´t find another solution. The alternative was too horrible to even consider.

“Then I´m glad he did.” Loki admitted.

Leah wasn´t sure about that, even if deep down she really disliked the idea of taking a life she felt inclined to make an exception for Doom. She also wondered that if cornered into a position where her family welfare was in the line again would be so skittish about it, probably not.

Without acknowledging Loki´s comment she started her recollection. “When the elevator door closed I got distracted, Doom seized that opportunity to knock me off him. I had lost my knife and bow, I couldn´t fight with my injured arm and had no escape route. Doom knew it too; he cornered me at the edge of the rooftop and …” as Leah continued her recollection Loki noticed that unconsciously Leah nursed either her throat, shoulder or ribs as if remembering the details actually caused her pain.

“…when I refused he … slapped me, just as Clint did yesterday …” She told him without thinking.

Loki widened his eyes surprised; Clint hadn´t mentioned such an event. “Wait! Clint slapped you? Why?”

Leah realized her indiscretion a little too late and cursed herself mentally for mentioning it. “I … said something foolish” She answered trying to dismiss it and hoping against all hope Loki wouldn´t ask her anymore.”

“What did you say?” Loki asked her, he just couldn´t understand why Clint had decided to hide it from him.

“I´d rather not say” Leah told him pouting. “He was right, I shouldn´t have said it.”

“I thought we had agreed on no more secrets between us.” Loki admonished her with a stern look on his face. Leah down casted her gaze, why hadn´t she kept her mouth shut.

“All right, if you´re not going to tell me I´ll ask Clint” Loki spat at her as he raised from the couch.

“No, wait!” Leah grabbed his hand anguished. “I will tell you.”

Loki sat down again to hear her answer.

“I … I told him that maybe … you and Eerika … might be better off without me.” She finally confessed feeling ashamed.

Loki couldn´t believe she had just said that, he felt angry, after all they been through, he had never been so angry at her before. “Why did you say that? Were you planning to abandon us?”

“No, I … I don´t know why I said it.” Leah lied.

“I don´t believe you” Loki affirmed. “You know very well why you said it. Tell me, were you planning on leaving us?” He gripped her wrist as he forced her to look into his eyes.

“No, no, that´s not what I meant; Loki please!” Leah pleaded as her eyes gleam with unshed tears, she had never seen Loki that angry before.

“Then what did you meant?” Loki asked her raising his voice.

“You should´ve let me die!” Leah whined as her tears over flooded her eyes running down her cheeks.

Loki let go of her wrist shocked. “How do you even dare to say that you selfish girl?” He chided.

“I didn´t meant to, I was hurting … I’m sorry.” Leah tried to apologize.

“Sorry won´t cut it this time!” Loki scolded her. “You think you´re the only one hurting here? Do you want to know how I felt when you died? As if someone had ripped my heart right out of my chest … and you dare to say I should´ve let you die.” Loki was so angry he hadn´t even noticed he was crying.

Leah felt her heart break when she saw the pain reflected in Loki´s face, she had never meant to hurt him. She tried to take his hand remorsefully as she implored. “Loki? Please …”

Loki retrieved his hand from hers. “I can’t talk to you right now … just don’t”. He told her while he looked away from her.

Leah couldn´t take it anymore and ran out of the study crying, she knew it was her fault he was so angry, he was right she had never considered how hard it had been for him, she had been so self-involved lately she had failed to think about him. She just couldn´t face it, she had to get away, run. She kept running as fast as she could without a destination, she had to keep running until the pain she felt had become numb.

The sound of the door being opened when Leah bolted out of the study alerted Loki who suddenly turned his gaze to find himself alone. “Dammit!” He coursed out loud as he rose in a hurry to follow her. His anger had made him forget about Leah´s current unstable mental condition.

Even if Loki was faster than Thor, the adrenaline made Leah run even faster than Steve, Loki couldn´t caught up with her, he would have to follow Leah until she got tired or stop. “Leah! Leah, wait!” He called for her several times without an answer.

Suddenly Leah found herself in what it seemed to be a dead end; then she noticed a door on the end of the hallway, without even stopping she pushed the door open. As she walked through Leah stopped surprised only a couple of meters from the entrance, it was some kind of interior garden, although a small forest might be a more appropriate description; she contemplated surprised the flowers and butterflies that covered the field.

“How did he …?” –she asked herself while looking up to discern the source of the light. As the sun shined bright through the glasses of the huge greenhouse the reflection stroke Leah´s eyes triggering a violent series of flashbacks, memories twirled in her mind flooding her with missing moments, she felt nauseous and disoriented, her head felt as if it was going to burst , everything started spinning, suddenly she collapsed on the grass.

It only took Loki a couple of minutes to arrive to the garden, he stopped at the entrance trying to figure out where Leah could´ve gone when he noticed her. “Leah! Leah!” He called for her anxiously. He knelt by her side while he made sure she was still breathing, relieved he tried to awoke her again. “Leah! Come on! Wake up!” There was no response, he cradle her between his arms, remorseful tears running down his cheeks. “Remember in your letter when you told me you could raise our daughter by yourself if you had to, but you much rather have us doing it together? I feel exactly like that right now, I´ve been feeling like that since Doom shot you. I would take care of Eerika if you were gone, but I´d much rather have you with us. Even if you never remember what happened, even if you are a mess, even if you drive me crazy with your foolishness. I don´t know what I would do without you, please just stay with me.”

A small weary voice answered his plea. “I thought I had already told you.”

Loki looked down to find Leah staring at him “Told me what? He asked with a smile, she was all right.

“That you won´t get rid of me that easy” Leah answered

“Leah! You remember!” Loki squeezed her tightly against his chest.

“Oww” Leah complained, his sudden movements made her feel dizzy apart from the fact he was holding her too tight.

“I’m sorry” Loki softens his grip on her. “Do you remember everything?” He asked Leah excited.

“I think so” Leah volunteered. “I remember your voice …”She told him as she raised her hand to touch his cheek. “ I remember your voice calling for me right after the light hit me and then it all went black.” Then she added. “I’m sorry I should’ve stayed away from the window.

“It doesn´t matter” Loki acknowledged. “Doom would´ve destroy the whole penthouse just to get to you.”

“That sound s bit extreme, but after all he’s one spiteful bastard.” Leah reasoned.

“He is.” Loki agreed. “Are you all right? Can you get up?”

“No, not yet. Everything hurts, especially my head. I feel like a rag doll.” Leah confessed. When Loki moved her in an attempt to carry her back to their room Leah complained loudly. “Wait! Please, can´t we just stay here for a while? It is beautiful … it´s been so long since I saw a tree up close.”

Loki frowned at first considering if he should just heal her, but voted against it, he should let her body recuperate naturally, he had healed her with his magic much often than recommended. “If you want” He told her while he carefully exanimated the back of her head, he found a bump. “You must have hit your head when you fell, that´s why it hurts” He explained her. “About that, I’m sorry I got so angry at you.”

“No, you were right, I’ve been selfish. I was feeling lost and I hurt you when that was the thing I least wanted to do and I´m sorry. “Leah volunteered” Besides if we hadn’t fought I wouldn’t have found this place and my memories wouldn’t had come back.”

“Now that you mentioned, why did they?” Loki asked with curiosity.

“The reflection of the sun bounced in some glasses, it made me remember …” Leah volunteered with a bit of discomfort.

“Ahhh!” Loki answered, maybe he should wait for her to recuperate before asking more questions.

“Loki? “ –Leah asked after a few minutes

“Yes” He replied while down casting his eyes to meet hers.

“I love you” Leah confessed.

“I know” Loki acknowledged while gently kissing her mouth.

Intervention

“Should we look for her?” Loki asked Clint

“No, I think it might be better if I talk to her alone first. Can you take care of Eerika?” Clint asked him in return; somehow he doubted Loki had any clue about how to take care of a baby.

“I really don´t have any experience with babies.” Loki acknowledged “But if you teach me what to do …”

“All right” Clint smirked, he knew it; he would have to explain everything to Loki. “Rule number one: Never do anything Leah wouldn´t do.”

Loki raised his eyebrows amused by Clint´s statement. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly serious, if you want to keep your head where it is you will follow that instruction to the letter at all times. Believe me, you don´t want to know what would happen if you don´t.” Clint volunteered.

“Are you talking from experience?” Loki frowned intrigued.

“Maybe” Clint responded playfully.

It took Clint half an hour to explain Loki the basics after which he directed himself to the training room, when he arrived he could see Leah furiously jabbing the punching bag. Sand was falling from it, she had managed to punch some holes through it.

“You are not practicing” Clint scolded her.

“Does it even matter? You just wanted me out of there.” Leah responded as she hit the bag one more time.

“Not really, you are right. Will you stop that? We need to talk.” He told her.

“There´s nothing to talk about” Leah snap back at him as she holds the bag in place. Clint was able to notice the bruising on her knuckles; she must had had been knocking the bag pretty hard to cause them.

“You are right, is normal for you to punch the bag until your knuckles are bleeding” He spat at her.

“They are not … bleeding” Leah raised her hands to check them, they weren´t bleeding but if she had kept at it much longer they probably would. She couldn´t deny it, she wasn´t all right. “What´s happening to me Clint? I feel like I´m losing it.” She finally acknowledged in a defeated tone.

“I know girl, sit with me.” He motioned her to the benches near the wall. “You went through a terrible ordeal yesterday, your mind is still trying to find ways to cope with it. That´s why you can´t remember everything, some details must be truly hard for you to handle so you´re blocking them. And in the process you´ve been pushing Loki away.”

“I know. I was terrible to him, wasn´t I?” Leah told him with guilt in her voice. “I just don´t know how to be around him anymore.”

“Why?” Clint asked her preoccupied. “Is it because of doom? Did he … do something to you? Did he …? – There really wasn´t an easy way to ask her.

“Rape me?” Leah finished his sentence for him. “No, he didn´t, it´s just that … I´ve been having nightmares and flashbacks of him … touching me.” Leah felt both silly and uncomfortable telling him that.

“What do you mean by touching you? For God´s sake Leah tell me what happened. “Clint questioned her anxiously while he tried to remain calmed.

As Leah remained quiet Clint sighed frustrated and told her “If you keep acting like this you´re going to lose them. And then it won´t matter if Doom is alive or death; he would´ve won.”

Leah realized that if she wanted things to get back to normal she had no choice. As she sighed he began her recollection. “When the attack began Bruce told me to hide with Eerika. I had no comlink, no weapons and no clothes; only the medical gown and hospital robe so I decided to hide with Eerika in the nursery. I thought we would be safe there but Doom found us. He tore down one of the walls to break in, a huge crack opened in the floor all through the room. I was trapped and Doom knew it, he even mocked me about it. “No one will be able to help you, my doombots will see to that.” That´s what he said. Then he told me his plans, to take Eerika as his apprentice and eventually marry her to his heir … the one he expected me to produce.” Leah said with disgust as he continued. “If I went willingly in exchange he would free Loki. He cornered me, I was trying to find a way to escape when he suddenly caressed my cheek with his metallic hand, he was so sure I couldn´t escape he even slid down the medical bathrobe from one of my shoulders.” Leah expressions changed from furious to distraught, as if she couldn´t settled in one. “I still remember his icy touch over my skin. If he hadn’t been so busy gloating … If he had decided to rape me right there I wouldn´t have been able to stop him.” Leah was looking nervously at the floor while caressing her hands anxiously; she didn´t knew when she had started trembling but she couldn´t stop. “I have never felt so vulnerable ever before in my life.” She added. “Nor that scared if I hadn´t noticed we could escape through the rift … I don´t know what could´ve happened.”

“But you did” Clint volunteered. “Even if you thought everything was lost you kept fighting. You might have felt you were at his mercy but you weren´t; not as long as you hadn´t give up.” Then he extended his hand to her, Leah looked up at him confused. “I never thought about it like that” She acknowledged as she placed her hand in his.

“I know.” He winked an eye at her as he closed his hand on hers. “You have to stop being so hard on yourself, you did the best you could under the circumstances. If I had knew Doom was going to be your first opponent I´d done things differently. But I´m afraid you´ll have to be brave for a little more.”

“I wasn´t brave, I was weak when it counted the most.” Leah grimly told him.

“Sometimes you need more courage to spare a life than to take one.” Clint volunteered. “Think Leah, what would´ve happen if you had killed Doom?”

“He wouldn´t had hurted me.” Leah plainly told him.

He hadn’t told her.” Was Clint first thought. “No, you would be on one of SHIELD´s prisons. But Leah, Doom didn´t just hurt you … he killed you.”

“What? But I´m still here!” Leah quickly snapped, was she imagining this whole conversation? What if in fact she was really death? No, that couldn´t be, she quickly dismissed the idea.

“Thankfully Loki, Steve and Thor wouldn´t give up on you. They brought you back to life.” Clint explained to her.

“I can´t remember any of that … why can´t I remember?” Leah asked him in anguish.

“It´s not something you´d like to remember.” Clint volunteered.

“But I need to. Please tell me what happened. I need to know.” Leah pleaded.

“I wasn´t there when it happened, you´d better ask Loki to tell you.” Clint suggested, she might have questions he didn´t had the answers to.

“I can´t, Not after how I´ve been behaving. He´s probably still angry at me.” Leah replied ashamed.

“Don´t be silly, he´s worried sick about you. He´s even changing diapers for you right now.” Clint joked trying to make her smile.

“Loki?” Leah asked surprised. “You are kidding me, he wouldn´t know how to do that.”

“That´s why I taught him how” Clint answered with a smirk.

“Oh God!” Leah hid her face between her hands, now she felt even guiltier.

“What´s wrong?” Clint asked her confused. “He´s her father you know, he can handle a few dirt diapers.”

Without raising her head Leah told him. “I didn´t gave it that much thought, I think I just assumed he wouldn´t. You know Asgardian royalty and stuff. And me … I wasn´t even able to pick her up … I´m a terrible mother” She raised her gaze as she told him. “Maybe they would be better off without me.”

Without any warning Clint slapped her angered at her last remark. “Don´t you even dare to think that!”

Leah looked at him shocked, tears were running down her face while she nursed her throbbing cheek. She felt too angry to say anything, angry at herself, angry at Clint, angry at the memory the slap just triggered. Angry because she knew Clint was right if she kept acting like that Doom would´ve won.

Clint kept staring at her waiting for a response, she held his stare angrily at first but as moments elapsed her anger fade into hurt. As heart-felt tears replaced the angry ones she was unable to hold his stare any more and just broke down.

Once she did Clint hold her tight. “It´s ok Leah, let it all out.”

As her sobs quieted after a while Clint told her. “Remember the girl that stabbed Doom yesterday? We need her back, she wasn´t scared.”

“But I was.” Leah interrupted him. “I just didn´t thought I had a choice.”

“Well, sometimes being brave is doing things even if you are scared to do them.” He volunteered kindly.

A sudden flashback flooded her memory. “Steve told me something similar … on the penthouse.” She said trying to hold on to the memory that just faded away.

“You are starting to remember” Clint said cheerfully.

“Not really, just bits and pieces.” Leah told him disappointed.

“It will come back in time.” Clint reassure her. “Just be patient, and stop hiding things, That´s not helping you.”

“I know.” Leah sighed. “I should talk to Loki, right?”

“Yes, I think you should, he needs to understand what´s happening to you so he´s able to help you.” Clint agreed. “I´ll walk with you, if you feel up to it you can spend some time with Eerika, or if you two need to talk I´ll take care of her.”

“All right” Leah agreed, she did wanted to see her daughter, although the prospect of taking top Loki didn´t appealed her so much.

As they walked in they could over hear Loki talking to Eerika, he was in the rocking chair cradling her in his arms “… so you see little one mum helped us when we needed it the most and now it´s our turn to help her get better.”

Leah had frozen on the door frame as she heard his words, Clint noticed almost instantly she had stayed behind when he turned back he saw her eyes were overfilled with tears. “I … I can´t.” She said in a whisper as she ran away to the only place she knew in their new home, their room. She loudly closed the door behind her alerting Loki of their presence.

Clint watched her until she disappeared behind the door, he sighed as he walked into the nursery.

“Clint, what just happened?” Loki asked him concerned.

“Leah overheard you talking to Eerika, I guess it was just too much for her to handle, she went crying back to your room.”

“Crying? But why? Did I do something wrong?” Loki asked him confused.

“Not at all, she´s just too sensitive at the moment. You might want to go to her.” Clint suggested.

“Dis you talked? What did she said? Did Doom do something to her?” Loki asked anxiously.

“Yes, we talked. It’s not as bad as we feared but it will take her a while to get over it.” Clint explained.

“Thanks the norns!” Loki sighed in relief.

“Yes, but she´s still hurting bad, she´s been having flashbacks” Clint explained Loki everything that Leah and him have talked, though he refrain from mentioning the whole slapping incident. He didn’t´ need to worry about the reason he had slapped her.

“I see” Loki acknowledged. “She just should´ve told me.”

“She was probably too ashamed or too scared to do so.” Clint volunteered. “Go to her, I´ll take care of Eerika.”

As Loki walked into their room he could hear Leah´s muffled sobbing but he couldn’t see her anywhere. “Leah?” He asked out loud hopping to locate the source of the sobs.

Leah didn’t answered but he could hear her sobs grow louder; she was in the dressing roiom. He approache dteh door and asked “Leah, could tou come out please?”

“No!” Leah whined at the top of her lungs, she was too embarrassed to come out, she´d been crying like a child all that time.

Loki sighed. “All right. I´m coming in.” As Leah didn’t answered he thought “Well, I´m taking that as a yes.

When he walked in he noticed the lights were out, he looked for the light switch and turned the light on; there was no sign of Leah, only some scattered shoes and clothes on the floor. “Where are you?” He asked intrigued.

“Here” Leah answered between sniffling’s, she had hidden under a rack of clothes.

As Loki knelt to look for her he told her surprised “How on earth did you got there?”

Leah bolted into his arms knocking him onto his butt. “Loki!” She whined. “I´m soo sorryy” She bawled, thick tears were running down her cheeks getting Loki´s clothing wet. “Please don´t leave me.” She shrieked out loud as she kept crying. She felt as if her heart was tearing apart.

“I would never leave you.” He reassured her.

“I don´t deserve you.” She bawled as hard as she could.

Loki was taken a back at her outburst, he hold her tight. “You are the only worthy woman in all the Nine Realms as far as I´m concerned. Would you please stop crying?”

“I can’t” Leah confessed through even more tears.

“Oh, Leah!” Loki kept holding her tight waiting for her to calm down.

When finally her crying subsided Loki noticed she had cry herself asleep.

He carefully carried her over their bed, he could still see some tears running down her cheeks; her nose was red, her eyes would probably be red also, it made her look paler than she was. His shirt was damped both by tears and snot, but she looked peaceful now. He changed his shirt and then suddenly questioned himself, had Leah eaten something yet? He walked to the nursery to ask Clint.

“No, she hasn´t ate anything while she was with me” Clint told him, as he noticed Loki´s eyebrows frowning with worry he asked him. “When was the last time she ate something?”

“I´m guessing the night before the attack.” Loki volunteered.

“That’s over 36 hours! You need to get her something to eat when she wakes up. I I can’t believe she didn’t said anything.” Clint exclaimed upset.

“She did, but then we got into a fight and …” Loki started to explain.

“And then I sent her away from the kitchen.” Clint added.

“Yes, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t have said anything if we hadn´t been fighting already.” Loki told him.

“Probably, there´s too much on her mind, I guess eating isn´t a priority.” Clint reasoned.

“Probably” Clint agreed.

“We need to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn´t stop eating.”

“I know” Loki agreed as he volunteered. “I´ll cook her something to eat”

“All right, though you probably should stay with her until she wakes up. She might be scared if she wakes up alone.” Clint suggested.

“Are you sure?” Loki asked Clint.

“Yes” Clint smiled “Go ahead, little pumpkin and I are getting along just fine.”

“Little pumpkin?” Loki asked amused.

“It´s just a pet name. Besides once this crisis is over we´ll have other matters to worry about. Who knows how long it will be for things to settle down.” Clint told him on a serious tone.

“What do you think happened after we left?” Loki asked him.

“I don’t know. Fury really didn´t had a case against Leah, not unless Doom wanted to explain what he was doing in the Tower and press charges. So I don’t think he would accused them of aiding a criminal to escape or something like that. I just can´t believe he would invent such shady charges to get her, it doesn´t sound like him. Either way we should wait for things to cool down before finding out. They´ll be fine, don´t worry.” Clint reassured him.

Lost

“… on the other hand your genes seem to have excellent compatibility match with magic.” Doom had her cornered, she could feel his breath over her skin. Leah´s heart rate increased as she tossed restless in her dream, she was helpless.

Suddenly Doom raised his hand to caress her cheek.

“You know you are trapped.” He mocked her.

“No!!!” Leah screamed in her dream waking herself up, she immediately sat up shaking, her breathing was accelerated, cold sweat enveloped her. Suddenly she was acutely aware of her surroundings, it wasn´t the Avengers Tower, where was she?

Loki had woken up when he heard Leah scream and swiftly wrapped his arms around her, it wasn´t the first time she had a nightmare but she never screamed herself awake before. “Leah, you are all right. It was only a dream” He tried to comfort her.

Leah was startled by his touch, out of reflex she tried to wriggle herself out of his embrace scared. “Leah! Leah, stop fighting! It´s me Loki.” He raised his voice as he hold her closer.

“Loki?” Leah turned her head towards the sound of his voice. “Loki! Thank god.” She turned to hug him.

Loki could feel her shaking as she hold him tightly, he could even hear her heartbeat running fast.

“What happened?” she asked him, but before he could answer her question she quickly asked him more, “Where are we? Where´s Eerika? What happened with Fury?”

Loki hold her by her shoulders as he looked into her eyes he asked her. “What´s the last thing you remember?”

“Fury wanted to arrest me for stabbing Doom …” Leah doubted for a moment. “I pointed an arrow against him, he draw his gun at me, but why would I do that?”

“And before that?” Loki asked hopeful, maybe her memories were starting to come back.

Leah frowned as she tried to remember, there was a big gap she couldn´t fill in; finally she told him “Doom was pushing me to get into his aircraft and I fell. She looked at him dubious, she had a feeling her answer was wrong.

Loki sighed disappointed, her memories were still incomplete; he proceeded to explain her what happened during her quarrel against Fury, where they were and Eerika’ s and Clint´s current whereabouts.

“Can I see her?” she asked him anxiously, she longed to hold her in her arms.

“Sure, she´s probably asleep but we can go to the nursery if you want” Loki agreed with a smile.

As Leah moved a sharp pain came upon her, it was her chest, she had no memory of her broken ribs.

Loki cursed himself mentally for forgetting about her wounds as he told her “Wait, let me help you with that” A green aura travelled from his hand towards her wrapping her up completely.

Leah looked surprised, the pain was gone. “What did you do?” She asked as she touched her chest to make sure it didn´t hurt any more.

“I only speeded nature´s course” He answered glad she wasn´t in pain any more.

Soon they were on their way to the nursery which was only a door from their room, Leah admired amazed the golden letters in the door. As they walked in they were met by Clint who was in a rocking chair cradling a sleeping Eerika in his arms. He put a finger on his mouth cautioning them for silence as he whispered “She just fell asleep a few minutes ago.” Then he added. “I´m glad to see you back on your feet, I´m guessing Loki healed your wounds.”

“Yes, he did.” Leah whispered back as she watched her daughter attentively.

“Do you want to carry her?” Clint asked with a smile.

“I …” Leah started to extend her arms when flashbacks invaded her mind of Eerika crying while falling from the Avenger´s Tower, of Eerika crying while she left her over Loki´s chest; she quickly withdraw her hands. “I … don´t want to wake her up. Maybe in the morning.” She nervously answered. Even if she tried to hide it both Loki and Clint noticed something was wrong, she suddenly had paled up but neither of them said anything at the moment.

Leah looked at Eerika one more time with longing as she excused herself. “I´m still tired, maybe we should get some rest before it´s morning”

“Of course, you need to rest.” Clint agreed, he hoped it was only weariness, but he feared it wasn´t.

Loki looked intrigued but even so agreed. “Maybe she does need to rest” He thought. “We´ll see you in the morning then.” He told Clint as he followed Le3ah out.

What happened?” Leah asked herself, why hadn’t she hold her child? The flashbacks, she had tried to protect her from Doom but she had the nagging feeling she had failed to do so, only Loki can protect her; you are too weak to keep her safe she scolded herself mentally.

As they both went to their room Loki looked at her worried “Are you sure you are all right?” He asked while gently caressing her cheek.

Inadvertently for him his loving gesture triggered an unpleasant memory of Doom that flooded Leah´s mind for a second. She shivered for an instant but decided to hide it from him.

“Sure, I just need some sleep.” She lied with her best smile.

Loki wasn´t fooled at all but decided to let it slide.

“Come then, let’s get some sleep.” He invited her into their bed. Leah climbed up reticent, she felt anxious, that if he touched her she would be overwhelmed with flashbacks and then she wouldn´t be able to hide just how weak she felt. “I really want to sleep.” She volunteered nervously.

“All right” Loki nodded kindly as she carefully climbed next to him.

“Good night” She said with a swift kiss as she turned her back to him and closed her eyes.

“Good night” Loki answered worried by her behavior; I was almost as if she was scared of him. Maybe her nightmares would explain her behavior, he would ask her in the morning; she didn´t seem to be in any disposition to talk for the moment. So he closed his eyes ready to sleep but not before taking another look at her, she was alive, that was all that mattered.

Leah tried to fall back asleep but she couldn´t, she tosses restless all through the night, she kept relieving the day before; she blamed herself for being weak, for not killing Doom when she had the chance.

When daylight broke through their window Leah sighed frustrated “So much for sleeping.” She thought. “Maybe If I take a hot shower I´ll be able to relax. I´m sure there must be a bath here somewhere.” She carefully stood up making sure not to wake Loki up, there wasn´t anything on her side of the bed except for a small nightstand, maybe on the other side. “There it is, a door.” She smiled as she turned the door open, it was dark, she reached for the lights switch when she finally found it she could see it was a large dresser room, on the other end of it there was another door. She walked in admiring the clothes, dresses, suits, jackets, shirts, blouses, shoes, when she reached the other door and opened she smiled, it was the bathroom. “Great, now I need some clothes, let´s see what I can find.” She ran through the drawers and finally found lingerie in one of them, next she choose some jeans and a blue baseball jersey, she didn´t understood the sport completely but she loved the jerseys. “I never thought he noticed that.” She thought to herself, also everything was the right size “He knows me too well.” She acknowledged. “Better that I know him.” She wryly added. “Stop complaining.” She admonished herself mentally.

She kept opening the cabinets until she found some towels, without further thought she undressed and step into the shower, as the hot water touched her skin she sighed with relief, it felt so good. She washed her hair but when she started soaping her body she found a circular scar on her chest above her right breast near her shoulder, she froze disquiet, what was that? What could´ve happened to her? And more importantly why she couldn´t remember when she got it? She knew it was a life-threatening wound, it didn´t make sense, she should remember something like that. “What happened to me?” Trembling scared she reached with her left hand over her shoulder and blindly touched her back in search for something she hoped wouldn´t find.

As the water from the shower fell it sound awoke Loki, he drowsily looked for Leah by his side; when he couldn´t find her he raised his head and recognized the sound of water falling. “She must be in the shower” Then he stretched lazily before sitting on the edge of the bed yawning, he directed himself to the bathroom; he could see her through the glass door. She was washing her hair, he quickly pulled some clothes out and began to undress ready to join her in the shower when he heard her gasp as he turned concerned he saw her reaching her back with one hand, suddenly she froze, her breathing became a panting, something was wrong. Still with his underwear on he ran to her, even under the hot water she was trembling, she didn´t even noticed him walking in. Loki hold Leah by her shoulders and shook her slightly trying to snap her out of her trance “Leah! Leah! What´s wrong?”

She looked up at him extremely confused, she frown preoccupied as she asked him. “This scar … how …”The moment she touched it again to show it to Loki a violent flashback hit her, a white bright light and an excruciating pain she raised her hands to her face protectively, it was as if something had hit her; she couldn´t find her breath.

“Leah! What happened? You saw something?” Loki kept trying to make her react, he couldn´t let her fall into panic.

Finally Leah pull herself out of it, between ragged breath she stutter her answer “I … don´t … know … a bright light and pain” Shaking still she searched blindly for the security of the wall behind her and slid to the ground. Loki knelt worried in front of her.

“Why can´t I remember?” She suddenly asked without raising her head.

“It will come back to you, just give it time.” Loki tried to reassure her.

“What happened to me?” She finally raised her eyes to meet his as she begged him “Please, I need to know.”

“All right, but let´s get you dress first.” Loki agreed as he helped her up.

Leah nodded her head affirmatively, she felt weary; as Loki wrapped a towel around her he noticed her fatigued gaze. “Did you get any sleep?” He asked concerned.

“No, I … I tried. But I just couldn´t.” She confessed. After a few moments of silence she spoke again. “It was all my fault, right? Because I didn´t kill him, because … I was weak.”

Loki was busy wrapping a towel around himself when Leah´s question made him turn to see her; he was shocked, he just couldn´t believe what he just heard, how could she think it was her fault?

“No! Leah, no! How can you even say that?” He hugged her tightly against his chest “It wasn´t your fault, nothing that happened was your fault.”

“But I should´ve killed him. I don´t know why I didn´t.” She told him between tears “I should´ve ended right there. Why won´t you say it? It was my fault, Doom did this to me and I let him do it. It´s my own fault I got injured, that´s why I can´t remember. Just tell me!” She pleaded in despair, nothing made sense to her anymore.

Loki leaned his head into hers, he hated seeing her like that, as he sighed he told her. “It wasn´t your fault, you have to stop blaming yourself. You did more than you should´ve done, you saved us, you saved Eerika, and you saved me. We would be Doom´s prisoners if it wasn´t for you. I don´t blame you for not killing him, I´m grateful that you didn´t. You are not a killer, and there´s no shame on that.”

Leah dried her tears as she listened to him, she wanted to believe him, but she refused to do so, suddenly her stomach growled loudly.

“I´m hungry …” She told him weakly, she just didn’t wanted to argue any more.

Loki looked into her eyes, he could see the doubt in them. He ran his hand through his wet hair as he bit his lip he nodded in agreement. “Let´s go to the kitchen then.” She was right, she hadn´t had anything to eat for over 24 hours; he admonished himself mentally for not remembering it when she woke up during the night.

They quietly dressed lost in their own thoughts. As they finished Loki guided Leah towards the kitchen where they found Clint sipping a cup of coffee while a baby´s monitor rested on the table.

“I´ll fix you something to eat” Loki offered Leah.

“I can cook myself something” Leah spat angrily. “And stop looking at me as if I were a wounded deer.”

“Do as you wish then” Loki growled angry, what in the nine realms was wrong with her?

Clint observed them without saying a word, her behavior confirmed his fears, Banner had gone ahead of himself with his diagnosis; something other than physical wounds was affecting her.

Leah started to cook her own breakfast when suddenly she became lost in her own memories leaving the handle of the turning spatula to close to the fire, when she absentmindedly retrieve it she slightly burned her hand. As she complained surprised nursing her burned hand Loki approached her concerned. “Leah, be careful. Let me heal that.”

“No” She dryly told him retrieving her hand from his. “It will serve me as a reminder to not be so clumsy next time.”

Loki was furious but before he could say anythi8ng Clint intervened. “All right clumsy, there´s a training room five doors to your left, go and practice your aim. For what I heard it´s as lousy as your cooking.”

Leah turned white with rage “Fine!” She yelled as she walked out of the kitchen.

“Why did you told her that?” Loki snapped at Clint. “Can´t you see she´s not all right?”

“I know Loki, sit down. We need to talk.” Clint told Loki calmly. “Has she been acting like this since she woke up?”

“Mostly” Loki answered shrugging his shoulders.

“Tell me everything” Clint requested.

As Loki finished telling Clint everything that had happened he grunted displeased.

“She´s having ASD” Clint finally told Loki.

“She´s having what?” Loki asked worried.

“Acute Stress Disorder, sometimes when a person is subjected to a traumatic experience they can´t cope with it. Leah is exhibiting all the signs, her inability to remember certain events, mood swings, feelings of guilt. I´ve seen it happen before mainly with rookies that accidently get caught in missions that turn out to be more than anticipated.”

“Can you help her” Loki asked in hope.

“Well, we´ve been playing psychologist with her all year. I think I can give it a try, but you´ll have to help. Basically she has lost her confidence, she feels weak and vulnerable but don´t treat her like that or it will blow out in your face as it just did. She´s probably scared of it happening again and not being able to stop it; that could be the reason she keeps blaming herself for not killing Doom. We need to reassure her that even if Doom is alive she doesn’t have to be scared of this happening again.”

“Isn´t that lying?” Loki asked Clint confused.

“You want to tell her that we can´t promise her that something like this won´t happen again?” Clint replied with irony.

“I guess not” Loki acknowledged “So we lie to her?”

“No, we shouldn´t lie to her, just don´t give her all the details. We don’t want to scare her more than she already is, which is probably the reason she didn´t carried Eerika last night, I can only guess but she probably thinks that she´s unable to take care of her or something along those lines. Frankly I´m surprised it took her this long to break down.”

“What do you mean?” Loki frowned intrigued.

Clint looked at Loki trying to decide if he should tell him or not, “Well Loki in less than two years she has lost all her family including her unborn son in an accident, then all of a sudden she became aware that you weren´t a dream and that she was pregnant again. Since then she´s face both her and Eerika´ s death in at least 3 occasions. She fought Venom to keep him from killing Steve among other stuff … and don´t you forget most of us gave her hell for escaping after you sent her back because you weren´t ready to accept your feelings and responsibilities to her. And the cherry on the top she faced Doom alone more than once; he menaced her with rape and your death. God only knows what he did to her while we were away that made Doom willing to kill her if he couldn´t have her.”

Loki nodded in agreement displeased. “You are right, I should´ve realized my true feelings for her before; but I can´t change what happened.”

“No, neither of us can.” Clint agreed. “But that´s not important right now. What´s important is to help her deal with what happened.”

“Tell me what to do.” Loki offered.

“We need her to talk about what happened, I´ve always had the feeling she´s not telling us everything. But she has to be willing to talk, we can´t force her; she´ll shut down if we do.”

In the name of SHIELD

Coulson winced as Doom kicked Leah, it wasn´t right; she shouldn´t be fighting him. He was about to flee to her aid when Hulk appeared, he sighed relieved; he should be able to protect her. As events proved him wrong he bit his lower lip anxiously before approaching Fury again. “Sir, he´s going to kill her or take her to Latveria, either way we´ll lose her.”

Fury had a worried frown over his face, he knew it even before Coulson spoke that they had to go something “Help her” he answered dryly.

Coulson bolted out of the room as soon as he heard Fury´s orders, he only stopped at the armory while he called a team to standby in the hangar.

As they were closing the aircraft door Fury called him. “Coulson, stop!”

“What? Why Sir? We´re ready to go … she won´t last long without help.” Coulson replied upset.

“Help arrived.” Fury told him.

“Sir?” Coulson asked confused.

“Loki brought almost all the team to the rooftop, seems they already made their mind about his allegiances, he doesn´t have the shackles on him anymore” Fury informed him.

Coulson smiled, Doom would get his just deserves and he definitely wanted to see that. “I´m on my way up Sir.”

“I though you would” Fury smirked, he didn´t envied Doom at all.

“Ouch! That got to hurt!” Coulson commented as Thor smashed Doom again with his hammer.

“You´re enjoying it a little too much Phil” Fury eyed him disapprovingly.

“Sorry Sir” Coulson apologized without meaning a single word.

It seemed that the fight was almost over when Doom fired a ray into the penthouse, Loki disappeared immediately and Thor continued his furious attack against Doom.

“What happened?” Fury questioned himself mentally when it suddenly hit him. “Give me a thermal scan of the penthouse, quick!”

“Right away Sir” An agent answered. “We have four … no three heat signatures.”

“Dammit Doom!” He swore out loud “He killed her”

“That´s not possible… they … wouldn´t let her die.” Coulson answered shocked by Doom´s spiteful act.

“We´ll just have to wait and see.” Fury acknowledged.

“You´re still planning on taking her away Sir? “Coulson asked in disbelief.

“If she survives, yes. Tell your team to s5tandby to make an extraction.” Fury ordered.

“With all your respect Sir, I refuse to take a part of this.” Coulson informed him.

“If that´s your decision agent, I´ll take her into our custody with or without you.” Fury grimly added.

“Why Sir? I don´t understand. If Loki already sided with the Avengers why is it so important to have her?” Coulson asked bemused.

“I have to mind the big picture agent Coulson, the major good will always outweigh the welfare of a few; even if those few are the Avengers” Fury responded.

“She´s not an agent Sir. I don´t think she´ll ever become one. She had the opportunity to end it all by killing Doom and she didn´t do it.” Coulson tried to reason with him.

“Don´t fool yourself, she would´ve ended him without blinking if she had had the right motivation. I know her kind, what she would be capable of to ensure peace, not just to avenge wrongs.” Fury chided at him.

“You still think the Avengers initiative was a mistake?” Coulson asked disappointed.

“It served its purpose but they won´t do what´s needed. And I need someone who is willing to do it.” Fury replied.

“More like forced …” Coulson answered angrily between clenched teeth. “Why not recruit someone who wants the job?”

“If you knew what you know now would´ve taken this job?” Fury asked him.

“Yes, I would” Coulson answered without a second thought.

“Well, you are the exception” Fury replied. “We are on disadvantage, we need people with abilities, and we need to train them. If Leah had been properly trained none of this would´ve happened. We can´t expect them to volunteer, we´ll have to draft them. You can hate me if you want but time will prove me right.”

“So you mean to bring justice without freedom?” Coulson asked defiantly.

“If that saves us, yes” Fury acknowledged.

“Save us from what Sir?” Coulson asked worried.

“From what lurks in the shadows” Fury answered enigmatically. “Superheroes bring forth supervillains, at the end we can´t depend on vigilantes, we´ll need soldiers.”

“Sir, we are picking up an additional heat signature” An agent informed Fury.

Fury looked up almost cheerfully “She made it” Was his first thought. “Tell the team I´m going down”

Loki kept holding Leah tightly against his chest as if he ever let go she might fade away. Leah felt confused, she couldn´t remember what happened. She remembered they were fighting with Doom but not why would Loki would be holding her with such need. She only knew something serious must had happened.

She was in pain, all of her body hurt especially her chest, she could almost swear something was broken by the way it hurt; she could also feel her right ear throbbing, sound were muffled on that side. If only she could fade into unconsciousness, but something felt wrong … what could it be? She swallowed laboriously, her mouth felt dry with some effort she raised her voice enough for Loki to hear her “What …” She had to swallow again. “…happened?”

Loki was surprised by her question, as he broke his embrace to look into her eyes he saw the answer in her face even before he ended his question “Don´t you remember? No she didn´t.” Her gaze was full of confusion, pain and fear.

Suddenly he noticed a stream of blood running down her neck coming from her right ear, it had rupture as a result from being hit by the lightning’s, but Loki didn´t knew that and called for Steve alarmed. “Steve, look!”

Steve quickly kneel next to them as he took a quick glance at Leah he also noticed some burns following a flower pattern, a result from shocking her he assumed. “Can you heal her as you did before” He asked Loki.

“Not right now” Loki confessed. “I used most of my magic las time. What´s wrong with her?”

“I´m not a doctor Loki, but I think it must be a side effect of reanimating her, we need Bruce.” He dryly added.

“I´m afraid that might be a problem.” Tony volunteered. “Hulk isn´t done with Doom yet.”

“Then we´ll just have to interrupt him” Steve volunteered as he grabbed his shield.

Leah looked at them attentively while she tried to piece the conversation in her head, suddenly she noticed the blood covering Loki´s armor unexpectedly she had a flashback of Doom throwing Bruce off the Tower, she gasped alarmed. “Bruce! Doom threw him off! Why weren´t they doing something?

Loki looked at Tony and Steve confused, he had no idea what she was talking about, if that happened it must had been when he was away.

Tony approached her “Leah that happened a while ago. Bruce is all right I assure you, Hulk is dealing with Doom now. You have nothing to worry about.”

Steve hadn´t lost anytime while Tony and Loki talked to Leah he was already in the rooftop, Natasha had followed him; she might be able to help to calm Hulk down.

Hulk was roaring furiously at Doom, it seemed he´d finally blacked out “You hurt her” Hulk spat enrage while pacing up and down.

“Yes, he did Hulk” Steve approached him carefully.

Hulk look at him undecided.

“Leah needs your help Hulk” Natasha added.

“Hulk helped” The green creature spat as he threw Doom´s unconscious body against the ground again.

“Yes you did and you did a great job. We can take care of him, but we need Bruce now” Steve told the colossus.

“Leah needs Bruce” Hulk asked Natasha worried.

“Yes Hulk, she needs him to heal her.” Natasha asserted.

The huge creature sat down, Doom wasn´t a menace for the moment, he sighed as he closed his eyes and she shrinking process began.

As soon as Bruce emerged Steve explained as quickly as he could their current situation while they walked back to the penthouse. Natasha stayed behind for a moment as she handcuffed Doom to a rail; taking him inside wouldn´t be such a good idea considering Leah´s state of mind. On her way back she retrieved Leah´s weapons, she´d feel better knowing Doom wouldn´t be able to reach them.

When they arrived they were grossly unprepared for the scene unfolding in front of their eyes, Leah was yelling, she had broken apart from their care, she could barely stand but she refused to let them near “You´re lying to me! Where´s my child! Dom did something to her … and you´re not telling me!” Violent flashes kept invading her mind, Doom´s cold touch over her skin set her on edge “Don´t touch me! Get away from me!” Her mind was a mixture of scrambled memories that refused to get in order.

“Distract her” Bruce whispered to them. He circled her while everyone else tried to get her to calm down, they were afraid she might hurt herself if they grabbed her by force.

“Leah!” Bruce yelled loud enough to get her attention.

“Bruce, you are all right!” Leah said with relief as she raised her trembling hand to touch him, it seemed she was afraid that he was a ghost. “I thought …”

“ I know” Bruce interrupted her as she touched his face, she looked relieved he was real. “Leah, you know I wouldn´t lie to you, right” Bruce asked her.

“Yes” she said as she nodded her head, she was shaking visibly “Do you know where Eerika is?” she asked him in a pleading tone.

“She is safe, Clint is with her.” He answered her question.

“Thank God! “Leah replied with relief, she stumbled, she was feeling lightheaded. “What´s wrong with me?”

Both Loki and Bruce hurried to her side she looked as if she was about to pass out. Bruce was nearer so he got to her first, he helped her to the couch with Loki´s aid. As soon as she was sitting he checked on her pulse, eyes, ears, chest and burn marks. Leah just let him manipulate her without complaining except for a soft whimper when he touched the ribs next to her stearnum, her mind seemed a long way from her.

Bruce sighed as he fished his examination, he would have to run a few more tests just to make sure but it seemed she was going to be all right. “Leah?” He called her attention, as she raised her eyes to meet he realized that she probably wouldn´t understand what he was telling her but at least his diagnosis would put everyone´s mind at ease. “The reason you can´t remember and you´re feeling so confused is a side effect of their efforts to reanimate you”

Leah frowned “Reanimate?”

Bruce continued “Doom attacked you, he shot a ray against you. Loki healed your wounds but your heart had stopped, Steve gave you CPR and Thor stoke you with his lightning’s to get it going again.” They had been very lucky … he would explain it to them later; but Leah must have had a pulse even if it was weak and erratic or they wouldn´t been able to reanimate her. A flat line heart isn’t going to react to the electricity no matter how many movies and TV shows alleged it did.

Everyone kept quiet as they listened to him. “The electricity thast got your heart beating normally again affected your memories, fortunately your super soldier healing factor is already working on the damaged neuronal paths. You´ll feel fine in a day or two; your ruptured eardrum, broken ribs and lighting burns will take a bit longer but I think within a week you´ll be as good as new.”

“That’s good to hear” Nick Fury step in suddenly. “She´ll recuperate under our custody”

“We already discussed this Nick!” Tony replied as he confronted him “What makes you think we´ll change our answer?”

“Because this time I´m not asking” Fury dryly told them “I´m here to arrest Leah Summer for attacking a foreign diplomat in U.S. soil.”

“You got to be kidding me!” He yelled enraged at Fury. “He tried to kidnap her and her baby, anything she did was on self-defense”

“That´s up to a court to decide” Fury responded without flinching.

Everyone had stood up to argue with Fury except for Leah, who remained in the couch. She might seemed absentminded to their discussion but like a trapped animal she was weighting her options. Her mind was still obscured which left her in hands of her survival instincts alone.

As the argument grew in tone no one noticed Leah reaching for her bow that was left only a few meters from her along with her quilt that still had some arrows left. The fear Fury provoked on her pushed her to put aside the pain and fogginess she felt.

“Leave us alone” She yelled in a decided tone as she pointed an arrow against him, in response Fury draw his gun at her as the rest of the agents did. She was trembling, barely standing up, sweat ran through her face as she focused all her energy on one thing, to keep pointing at her target.

“Leah, what are you doing” Tony questioned her surprised.

“Leah, you don´t need to do this. I promise I won’t let them take you.” Loki tried to reassure her, but she wasn´t hearing them.

“You shouldn´t make promises you can´t keep” Fury slyly told Loki.

“Shut up!” Loki snapped at him, he was about to take a swing at him when Steve and Tony walked between them to keep them apart. As Tony tried to reason with Fury to drop down his weapon Steve whispered to Loki “Take her away.” Loki looked up surprised, did he really meant they should run away? They hadn’t done anything wrong although that didn´t seemed to matter to SHIELD. “Run!” Steve added in a hushed tone, Loki swiftly ran back to Leah, as he tackled her they disappeared.

An arrow flew to the ceiling embedding itself on the ceiling of a hallway, Loki had forced his last energies to travel through the paths of Yggdrasil, Leah fainted in his arms a second later, he also felt unconsciousness upon him, as he laid her in the floor with his last strength he called for Clint before he passed out.

Loki awoke in the main bedroom, Leah was sound asleep by his side, he still felt drained but Asgardians recuperate much faster than humans, even super humans.

“I wondered how long it would take you to wake up.” A familiar voice told him “You are heavier than you look.”

Loki turned to see Clint sitting on a chair in front of the bed, he was holding a baby monitor between his hands.

“How long have I been out?” He asked.

“Two hours probably” Clint responded.

“Has she …” Loki started to ask.

“Woken up? No. I hope you don´t mind but I changed her out of what was left of her uniform. What the hell happened?” Clint asked a concern look on his face, he had seem the blood on both Loki´s and Leah´s clothes and as far as he could see both were unharmed.

As Loki finished explained Clint everything that had happened a baby´s cry interrupted them “Duty calls” Clint simply stated as he rose from the chair “Rest, you´ve earned it. I´ll be right back.

Loki thanked him, he wanted to go to fetch another couple of gems and heal Leah, but he knew that overdoing it wasn´t a good idea. Bruce had said that all she needed was time, maybe he should give it to her at least for the moment. He leaned in to look at her face, she looked peaceful. He wondered what could´ve happened in the penthouse after they left.

Unconditional

unconditional

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