“We can´t keep meeting like this Leah. It isn´t fair for any of us, especially for you.” The man sitting beside her in the sand told her while looking at the vast sea in front of them.
“Why not Martin?” Leah asked him back.
“Because you are alive and I´m not. You have to stop clinging to the past. It only hurts you.” Martin answered without looking at her.
“Maybe I like the pain.” Leah told him with defiance.
“No, you don´t.” Martin´s brown eyes turned to face hers. “And you know it.”
“I hate it when you act like a know-all.” Leah pouted visibly upset.
“Because you know I am right.” Martin told her with a smirk.
“You´re so annoying! You always were especially in elementary school.” Leah pouted again frowning.
“I loved your braids.” Martin suddenly told her.
“You loved to pull them.” Leah complained.
“How else was I supposed to get your attention?” Martin asked her with a smile.
“By being polite.” Leah snapped at him.
Nah, you wouldn´t have noticed me. You always had a mischievous streak on you. And I think that is the reason he noticed you.” Martin volunteered.
“Please tell me you´re not thinking about giving me love advices now.” She looked at him disapprovingly.
“He is a good man, you know?” Martin told her while he leaned back to contemplate the sky.
“I doubt he will agree with you.” Leah pointed out.
“He is, it doesn´t matter if he knows it or not. And he loves you.” Martin turned his gaze back to her as he said his last sentence.
“And I love him, but I love you too.” Leah answered sadly as she rested her chin on her folded knees.
“Death do us apart my love.” Martin hugged her as he continued. “For a moment there I was afraid you would join us.”
“Afraid? Why not happy?” Leah inquired puzzled by his words.
“I thought you would know the answer to that already.” Martin calmly told her.
“Maybe I need to hear it from you.” Leah suggested.
“Because you were given a second opportunity, to love, to a family, to all the things we couldn´t have…” He was interrupted by Leah nervous laugh.
“I´m sorry” She quickly apologized. “A second chance in a world I don´t fit in, they are superheroes for crying out loud. And I am, I was a housewife; how long can I pretend to fit in their world until something goes terribly wrong?” Her voice broke, something had already gone terribly wrong.
Martin looked at her with compassion. “Leah, this isn´t you, it´s the fear talking.”
“Why shouldn´t I be afraid? Doom killed me and if he had the time he would´ve raped me first; he would´ve taken Eerika if it wasn´t for Loki. Furthermore SHIELD is after me I don´t know why. I know Loki and the others will try to keep me safe, but at what cost? What if the next one to die is Loki? I would fall apart and I can´t afford to, who would look after Eerika then? Why didn´t I just died with you in the accident?” She broke down.
Martin tried to comfort her hugging her tighter. “You can´t keep doing this to yourself. I don´t know why you survived the crash but there must be a reason, you just have to be brave enough to find it. And I know you, you can be that brave.” He grabbed Leah by her shoulders so he could look into her eyes. “The Leah I know wouldn´t give up, you are too stubborn to give up. So what if you never are as strong or powerful or well-trained as they are, no one has asked you to be a super-hero, just be yourself.”
“What if I’m not good enough?” Leah asked between sniffling’s.
“Good enough for what Leah? For being a mother? A loving companion? You were the best friend, lover and wife I could ever asked for, you are more than enough. You will be a wonderful mother too if you give yourself a chance.”
“Maybe for you … but for him … I don´t know. I crashed into his life, what if I´m just an accident?” She said anguished.
“Ask him.” Martin suggested. “If you are that afraid ask him.”
“I don´t want to.” Leah told him while looking down when suddenly a strong pull on her hair made her turned angered at Martin. “Ow, stop that.”
“That´s more like it.” Martin told her with a smirk. “That’s you, the feisty girl who doesn’t take crap off nobody. “
“It´s not that easy” Leah pouted still angry.
“Why not? Because they have superpowers? You do too silly girl, and you had just given birth when you were invaded, I doubt anyone else could´ve done what you did. I keep telling you, you were given a second chance, please don´t waste it. I want you to be happy, stop getting in your way.”
“I … I don´t want to forget about you or … Richard.” She confessed while tears threatened to pour out again.
“Loki and Eerika aren´t replacements Leah, you have room in your heart for all of us. But you need to concentrate on them now, they need you whole.” His voice conveyed the urgency of the matter.
“I don´t feel whole.” Leah admitted as she leaned into Martin.
“You need to get your confidence back, don´t you remember what you used to tell me when I was down? Everything happens for a reason but you´ll never find what that reason is if …”
“If you don´t get off your butt” Leah completed his sentence while laughing at the memory. “I sincerely don´t know how you put out with me sometimes.”
“Because you were worth it.” Martin answered with a big grin. “Now, off your butt. Don´t let Doom break you, don´t let him or anyone else stand in your way.”
“How do I do that? Forget. ” Leah asked him anxiously, she feared oblivion as a beast that would consume all.
“You don´t forget love, you move on by letting go.” Martin volunteered.
“Letting go what?” Leah asked puzzled.
“Everything that hurts you.” Martin moved to face her. “You´ve grown yourself accustomed to clinging to the past even if it only brings you pain you cling to it with desperation, you need to stop.”
“How?” Leah wasn´t even sure she could, he was right. Some day’s pain was the only thing that remind her she was still alive.
“By living in the present, not the past, not some distant future, by clinging instead to the second in hand. Life is wonderful and mysterious and it can end in any second, stop wasting it.” He told her with passion.
“By letting you go.” Leah acknowledged at the brim of tears.
“And Richard” Martin added, “And Doom.”
“I don´t know if I can do that.” Leah confessed.
“I know you can, that´s why I came to you, to remind you.” Martin volunteered. “And to say goodbye.”
“But I don’t want to let you go.” Leah said anguished.
“I´m afraid I´m not giving you a choice hunny bunny.” Martin´s eyes reflected all the love he felt for her.
“I won´t see you again?” Leah asked devastated.
“No, unless you need me to pull some sense into your braids.” Martin joked.
“Smart ass.” Leah pretend to pout offended.
“Crazy girl.” Martin called her affectively.
“So, this is goodbye?” Leah inquired nervously “Forever?”
“Forever sounds so definitive. Until we meet again?” He suggested.
“I like how that sounds” She agreed while nodding affirmatively.
“Don´t be in a hurry, savor every moment. We both know life is fragile, embrace it. Stop waiting, make things happen.” Martin told her with a smile as he stood up facing the sea. “He´s been waiting all his life for someone like you, don´t keep him waiting any longer.”
“I feel like I don´t know him, not like I knew you.” Leah confessed while getting up.
“Then get to know him, we knew each other most of our lives, and you have a lifetime to know him.” Martin volunteered. “Take care of them and yourself, don´t let me down. He looked up at the distance, a small boy walked to them. Leah´s heart skipped a beat when she saw him, she just knew. “Richard!” She ran to meet him.
“Hi mummy! Don´t be sad. I´m all right, daddy is with me.” He told her as Leah sobbed uncontrollably while embracing him.
“I´m sorry love, I´ll try not to cry.” Leah sniffled.
“That´s better” Richard smiled warmly at her. “My sister wouldn´t like you to be sad either.” His eyes were blue like hers.
“No, she wouldn´t.” Leah acknowledged drying her tears and smiling him back.
“Don´t stop smiling mummy, you look beautiful.” He told her happily “I love you”
“I´ll do my best.” Leah nodded affirmatively.
“Daddy!” Richard ran to Martin who carried him up, they were both laughing, they looked radiant.
“They will be all right” Leah thought to herself.
“And you will be too.” Martin told her reading her thoughts.
“How can you be so sure?” Leah asked him.
“Because I know you better than you think you crazy girl, you just need someone to pull your braids once in a while to remind you.” Martin joked.
“Don´t you dare!!”Leah warned him.
“That´s not my job anymore love” Richard warmly answered her as he winked an eye. “Until we meet again.”
“Until we meet again.” Leah answered with a sad smile as she hugged and kissed them one last time. She stood in the sand as she watched them walk to the sunrise, they suddenly faded into the light.
Leah woke up suddenly sitting up, their names frozen in her mouth, tears running free as she whispered. “Until we meet again.”
Her sudden movement had awoken Loki who sat up looking at her worryingly “Leah, what´s wrong? Did you had a nightmare?”
“No.” Leah nodded her head negatively while drying her tears with the palm of her hands. “Loki, do you believe in ghosts?”
“Mm, I´m not sure. I think so.” He told her trying to figure out why she would ask him such a thing.
“I had a dream with Martin and Richard, they came to say goodbye.” She turned to embrace him.
“Goodbye?” He asked in an inquisitive tone.
“Martin said I should stop clinging to the past.” Leah told him remembering the conversation.
“He sounds like a wise man.” Loki agreed.
“He also told me you are a good man.” Leah added.
“A little naïve maybe.” Loki suggested.
Leah laughed “I told him you would disagree.”
Loki smiled at her, then laid back to bed while embracing her to his chest. “And what did he said?”
“That you are a good man whether you know it or not.” Leah volunteered.
“So, that means he´s giving us his blessing?” Loki asked her jokingly
“I think so.” Leah acknowledged.
“I think it´s a little too late for that.” Loki told her with a smirk.
Suddenly Leah´s expression turned to a somber on as she raised to look back at Loki. “Loki, you don´t need to tell me what happened when Doom shot me.”
“I thought you wanted to know.” Loki told her confused by her change of mind.
“I don´t need to. I already know how it feels like when you lose someone you love.” She told him apologetically.
“She does” Loki reasoned. “And she didn´t had the luck of getting them back.” He answered in the same apologetic tone “I´m sorry Leah, I shouldn´t had said that. I just was so angry….”
Leah placed her finger in his mouth cautioning silence. “Don´t apologize, I deserved it for being a selfish child.”
“You are not selfish.” Loki complained.
“But I was.” Leah confessed. “Will you listen to me? I need to tell you so many things. Please don´t say anything until I´m finish, I may not find the courage to tell you again.” She pleaded while looking to his eyes.
“All right, I´ll listen”. Loki agreed, Leah let out a relief sigh as she lay her head in his chest, she suddenly felt cold; she snuggled against him trying to get herself warm.
“Ever since the accident I felt like a big abnormality, a fluke, I´ve never understood why I was the only survivor, and how of all places I could’ve wander off I walked right in the middle of your fight with Thor, why of all days you choose that day to remember your brotherly love for Thor, how without any idea of what I was doing I managed to find you afterwards or why you decided to visit me when I hadn´t stopped thinking about the family I lost. I wasn´t ready to find love again when whatever that was that happened between us started, I would never had imagine or even dream of it happening in real life. I still can´t understand why you stayed when … if I were you I wouldn´t. Afterwards everything happened so fast I didn’t had time to figure out what you meant for me, or maybe I was afraid to accept it but when I finally did all I felt was your lose; even when we were just a few centimeters from each other in the Tower. And then Doom happened, I thought I would be able to defend myself and Eerika against him now that I had super soldier abilities but I was wrong, even with the training I wasn´t an opponent for him.” She could hear Loki softly grunting. “I know it wasn´t a real training, my pregnancy forbid it but I thought I was at least becoming someone worthy of walking between super-heroes and gods. I just … I really can´t understand how we got here, what if I´m just an accident in your life? I know you love me, but; what does that really means? What am I to you? What does this all means for Eerika? I’m not talking about foolish dreams of princesses and happy endings, I don´t want you to worry about me all the time. I just want to know how do I fit in here, I don´t want to be just an accident.” She sighed with relief, as if by saying all her fears out loud she had lifted a huge weight from her chest.
Loki looked at her with understanding, he had asked himself many of her questions before. “You are right, we have never really talked about what we have between us is. You are definitely much more than a lover, but I would feel weird calling you my girlfriend because that description doesn´t even cover what I feel for you; but I´m not sure either of us are ready for a more permanent title. At this point all that I know is that you and me were meant to be; when I first visited you I really never meant for things to go the way they did, but something just made me come back to you time after time. I think you are my Urdr, my destiny not an accident, not a fluke; but what else the Norns have carved in Yggdrasil I don´t know. I just know I feel blessed that our paths crossed even with all the difficulties and heartache we have had to overcome.
I don´t know if it helps you find any meaning to all that has happened, all that I can tell you is that I love you, more than I´ve ever loved someone and I can´t picture my life without you or Eerika anymore. I just need you in my life, you gave me hope back.
Leah could feel her heart racing, if everything that had happened to both of them had lead them to that very instant maybe … maybe it had been worth it. She felt Loki´s words melting away all her doubts and fears leaving only her undeniable love for him.
“I´ve been so foolish” She scolded herself; she had a new chance at love, at happiness and she had been so close to ruining it. Loki was there with her, he loved her and needed her just as much as she needed him.
“You´re not foolish” Loki corrected her.
“But I was and I want to make it up to you.” Leah offered while she straddled over Loki in one swift move, her lips locked on his as she leaned forward rubbing herself against him. She had caught Loki completely by surprise, he moaned into her mouth as the arousing sensation travelled up his spine. Suddenly he rolled over pinning her down. “Wait Leah, you don´t have to do this …” He was worried she was doing out of just a wish to make things right between them instead of … Leah´s own moan interrupted his thoughts, his warm body over hers had been enough to entice her senses, Loki looked at her, he knew that look, she was ready “… unless you want to.” He ended still debating with himself.
Leah pulled him down for a fervent kiss that extracted another moan from Loki. “I want to.” She said in a murmur before rolling down to pin him down again. She was still wearing her jeans and jersey, Loki hadn’t wanted to risk waking her up so he let her sleep on her clothes, but he had changed into a long sleeves and pants pajama. Leah bit her lower lip mischievously, she would take advantage of that. Without further preamble she ducked under the covers and quickly pulled Loki´s pants and briefs down releasing his erecting member.
Loki had barely recovered from her kiss when he started to ask “What are … oh my!” He writhed in ecstasy, she had lead his penis into her mouth and had already started to move her hand up and down slowly and rhythmically.
She was bent on pleasuring him, taking her time to explore his every reaction to her flicking his foreskin with her tongue. It had been over a month since they had sex, but she had been pregnant then.
Loki panted with each motion, he had started trusting into her mouth; her tongue playfully teased him with tickling sensations that drove him even closer to his climax. “Faster!” he pleaded, he was so close. Leah was only too happy to comply, his shameless pants and moans drove her more excited than she already felt. With a loud moan Loki cum into her mouth, she had eagerly been waiting for this, she swallowed his seed greedily; it tasted like him. She didn´t wanted to be anywhere else that at his side ever again; as his erection faded she came out from under the covers to find a still flustered Loki trying to catch his breath. She might not noticed but he had, having the abilities of a super soldier certainly had its advantages he thought. She was stronger and faster. Sex would be a whole new experience from now on, and he welcomed the thought gladly.
“So, am I forgiven?” She jokingly asked him.
“I´m thinking about it.” Loki answered her with a big grin.
“Oh! So you want to play like that?” Leah scolded him jokingly while reaching for his manhood under the covers.
“No, wait …I forgive you! I forgive you!” Loki volunteered quickly, he still wasn´t ready for round number two.
“I thought you would” Leah teased him with a gentle squeeze before letting go.
“What came over you?” Loki asked her surprised, not that he was against it, but her change seem too sudden.
“I told you, Martin and I had a talk.” Leah explained while resting her head on his chest, she found the sound of his heart so comforting. “He told me to seize the moment or he would pull my braids to remind me.”
“Pull your braids?” Loki asked intrigued.
“He used to do that when we were kids, I used to think he did it because he didn´t liked me, it turned out to be quite the opposite. It kind of became our private joke over the years.” She smiled at the memories, somehow they didn´t hurt as much, he was right.
“To remind you what?” Loki asked her.
“That I´m alive” She turned to face him, she didn´t looked sad as she normally did on those rare occasions she talked about her deceased husband or child.
“I think I would´ve liked him.” Loki told her full-heartedly.
“I think you would.” Leah acknowledged while kissing him.
Suddenly Loki rolled her pinning her down to the bed; he stuffed his hand under her jeans reaching for her pubic area, she was already wet. “Seems someone need a bit of attention.” He purred into her ear as he slid a finger inside her.
“Ungh!” She moaned, he was right.
“But first let´s get you out of this clothes.” He added as he pulled his hand form under her jeans and started to unbutton them; in less than a minute they were both naked.
A couple of hours afterwards the sound of running water filled their room, they finally had managed to get to the shower, while Leah rinsed her long hair Loki watched her attentively. This time they were together for real, not only at night on her so called dreams, not separated by his prison glass, this was a new experience all together. It might have good days, it might have bad ones, but as long as they both remembered what was important he had the feeling they would be all right. He walked over to Leah startling her, he embraced her strongly while pushing his naked body against hers.
“Again?!” Leah asked surprised, his member was hard once more.
“It´s your fault, you started it.” He teased her while gently squeezing her breasts “I only intent on finishing it.” With that he bent Leah over exposing her entrance to him, he fondled her gently looking for her clitoris. Leah moaned responding to his touch, he had to steady herself by placing her hands against the wall she had in front of her. Loki skillfully twirled his fingers deeper as he searched for her g-spot, Leah´s knees buckled when he did. “Oh go!” She exclaimed, she wasn´t sure she could keep that pace for long, but she didn’t mind finding out.
Suddenly fingers were replaced by his strong member slowly burring itself deeper into her, she moaned in wanton, she couldn´t have enough of him either.
“Get down on your knees.” Loki whispered lustfully in her ear before nibbling on her lobe.
“No, I´ll fall.” Leah complained, they were still under the running water and she felt too aroused for him to pull out.
The playful stinging swat that stoke her bottom cheek caught her by surprise, Loki didn´t wanted to pull out either, but the position was too uncomfortable due to her shorter height. “Do as I say or I might just have to spank you, you naughty girl!” He seductively menaced her.
Leah gasped, on one side she wasn´t sure if she wanted to play that game, on the other side it sounded terribly enticing. A second swat on the same place snapped her out of her thoughts. “Ow!” She complained, she could feel it smarting.
“So?” Loki asked her noticing her indecision. “Do you need more convincing?”
“No! Wait.” The sensation of his cock inside of her along with the sting on her butt combined were sending all sorts of new sensations … maybe on another occasion; she would hate to have to explain to Clint why she winced while sitting down. “I´ll kneel.” She offered nervously while slowly bending her knees to get down, Loki helped her avoiding her to fall as he got down with her. As soon as they had reached the floor he moved into a more comfortable position holding onto her hips as he slowly pounded into her periodically teasing her with pulling out only to push himself deeper, within minutes Leah was moaning loudly as she came, she could feel her fluids rolling down her inner tights and her arms quivering. Loki wasn´t done yet and held her tights hard as he kept trusting vigorously into her until they both came again.
After they had finished bathing while dressing up Leah peeked at her bottom through the mirror, it had no mark on it as she thought it would. “Would you really had spanked me?” She asked Loki with curiosity.
“Only if you wanted me to.” Loki winked an eye at her.
“Oh!” Leah exclaimed blushing.
“Do you want me to?” Loki asked her with mischief written all over his face.
“No!” Leah quickly responded while protectively placing her hands over her buttocks.
“As you wish” He jokingly teased her as he grabbed her through her waist before gently kissing her. “I would never hurt you” He confessed. “I love you too much.”
Leah smiled back at him s she placed her arms around his neck returning his kiss. “I love you too.”
When they joined Clint for lunch later that day they both nearly choked on their food when he innocently asked them “So, you made up, right?”