They had returned from Paris for weeks now and he hadn´t asked her. She tried convincing herself that she didn´t mind that he simply had gotten carried away in the moment. That it was no indication he was leaving, nor that he didn’t loved her although he had never told her he did. She couldn´t shake that nagging feeling that she was losing him which made her angry both at herself and at Loki.
It started with small fights where she would apologize to him for being in a bad mood.
She longed for the days she didn´t needed anyone but herself and her daughter, and tried to calm her heart striving to get that independence back.
One day as Loki was helping Samantha with her homework while she was doing her house choirs they could heard a thump as something had fallen down.-Diane are you ok?-he asked with concern –Mum?-Samantha called.
The answer delayed just a couple of seconds –I´m ok, don’t worry – though her voice reflected something different.
-Stay here Samantha; keep doing your homework while I check on your mum-trying not to show her he was worried.
As he walked into her room he saw Diane was sitting in the floor having fallen down after losing her footing at the stool she used to climb to store things in the top shelves of her closet.
-What happened?-he asked as he extended his hand to help her up
-I fell, isn´t that obvious? – Then added-I was trying to put away some blankets then lost my footing and fell-
-Why didn´t you asked for me to help?-after all he was about nine inches higher than she
-Because I´m quite capable of doing things by myself-she answered angrily
-I didn´t say you weren´t, why are you so angry?-
-I´m sorry, my pride was what most hurt in my fall. I was clumsy, I´m angry at myself for falling down-
She was trying too hard, as days go by she started feeling sadder so when she finally was left on her own, Loki being out on a mission and Samantha sleeping over with Susy she decided to let her heart pour without having to accept the real reason she was sad. She loved the movie, although it always made her cry, and she needed to cry.
She just loved Mamma Mia! It reminded her of herself, she had already started crying as Donna helped her daughter to get dress for the wedding.
Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning …Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile … I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness …The feeling that I’m losing her forever …Then when she’s gone there’s that odd melancholy feeling …And a sense of guilt I can’t deny … What happened to the wonderful adventures …The places I had planned for us to go …Well, some of that we did but most we didn’t …Each time I think I’m close to knowing …She keeps on growing …Slipping through my fingers all the time ..
She was surprised by a knock on the door, who could be at this hour? She wiped her tears as she paused the movie, she left the lights off. As she opened her door, she was unpleasantly surprised it was Loki, he had returned earlier from his mission, she was incredibly glad she hadn´t turned the lights on.
-Hi, we finished earlier and I thought of passing by to see you. What are you doing? – Even with the lights off he could tell she had been crying
-I was watching a movie, but you won´t like it, we can search for something else to watch.-she answered hopping he would agree.
-If you like it I could give it a try-he answered.
-It´s a musical, you won´t like it-she tried to convince him
-I´ll give it a try, if I don´t like it we can always see something else-
-Ok. – She said feeling defeated as they sat on the sofa while she pushed the play button on the remote.
She tried desperately not to cry but her heart betrayed her as she heard the song.
The winner takes it all …The loser standing small … Beside the victory …That’s her destiny …I was in your arms …Thinking I belonged there …I figured it made sense …Building me a fence …Building me a home …Thinking I’d be strong there …But I was a fool …Playing by the rules …The gods may throw a dice…Their minds as cold as ice …And someone way down here …Loses someone dear
She silently cried for a while praying Loki wouldn’t notice until she couldn´t quiet her sobbing’s.
-Why are you crying? – Loki asked unaware of what had been on Diane´s mind for the last weeks
-It´s just that this movie always makes me cry-she lied
-Then why do you watch it? I think it´s silly to watch it if it makes you feel so sad- he told her
-So, I´m silly? – Diane asked as she felt all her repressed anger building up
-That´s not what I meant-Loki tried to apologize
-You know what, I don´t want to argue with you right now, please go- she had stand up and was looking furiously angry
Loki did not understand what had happened, he stood up trying to get her to calm but she shoved him away.
-Go, please- she snapped at him tears on her eyes, to his surprise she went ahead an opened her door.
-Why? – He asked
-Because I´m asking you to – she angrily replied
-All right-Loki answered irritated- I don´t know what has come over you tonight. I´ll leave-
As she shut the door she leaned her back into it and slid down to the floor where she shrank into a ball as she started crying again.
-Diane, please. Let me in. We can talk about what´s bothering you-Loki was worried
-No- she shouted-If you dare teleport yourself in I swear I´ll jump off the window- it was an empty threat she knew it, but she hoped he would believe it.
-Ok, have it your way. I´ll leave you alone-Loki didn´t though she would make good on her threat but he wouldn´t risk it, he had never seen her so angry before.
He walked to the Avengers Tower still not understanding what had happened, angry at Diane for not telling him what was wrong. He went through a movie store and almost without thinking it he bought the movie Diane had been watching, maybe if I see it I will understand something he though. He didn´t wanted to see anyone so he teleported back to his room where he toss and toss in his bed trying to figure out what had made Diane so angry until sleep defeated him.