-“So how should I start? Loki? Dear Loki? To the love of my life? Nah! That´s too corny he´ll just laugh at me … Fuck! Why is this so hard?”-Leah sighed with frustration, the white pages in front of her were mocking her efforts.
-“I will never write anything if I´m afraid to say what I feel”- she admonished herself mentally –“All right, if he laughs at me so be it, at least I´ll give him a good show.-
So with that thought in mind she began to write.
“Loki, my love
I don´t even know if this letter will find its way to you, or even if you will read it though I hope with all of my heart that it will.
I´ve heard what to said to me last night (well Tony played back the recording for me, they are apparently recording my room hoping to catch you in the act sort of speak) but that´s not the point, what I´m trying to say is that I feel that way too, I wish we could be together. I long for you, no that´s not quite right, it´s deeper than that, I ache for you, I miss you terribly. I wish you could hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be all right, I don´t care if it´s a lie, I just need to hear it. I´ve tried so hard to hide it, to fool myself but I can´t any more… I´m scared. I´ve never felt more scared in all my life, not just because I almost lost our daughter (oh, yes! We are having a baby girl!) but because I don´t know how am I supposed to keep her safe, and I don´t mean just from SHIELD or whoever else wants to get their claws on her. I don´t know how to be a mother, I don´t want to do this alone, I wish I didn´t had to but I see no other way, not only because we can´t be together. I can´t raise her between the boundaries of the Avenger´s Tower, what kind of life would that be? She deserves a chance to discover what she wants to do with her life, to find out who she wants to be; I know you understand this better than anyone else. How am I supposed to do that? My head and heart hurt just by thinking about it, will I be enough? What if I screw this up?
I keep wishing things were different, that we´d met on a different life, where we aren’t divided by the unending conflict of good vs bad.
My sweet mischievous prince if I could only had met you before you choose the path you are walking, I may not have been able to change its course, but at least I would´ve been able to walk it by your side. I know it´s foolish, we can´t change what has happened, and I want you to know that I wouldn´t change it even if I could, no sorrow will live in me with the joy you gave me… saved one, and I thank you for that too.
My heart was broken, shattered in million pieces, I was so lost I couldn´t even recognize myself, and somehow you found me, you held me back together. You refused to let me drown in my sadness, I can´t even phantom why, I was hardly worth saving, and I love you even more for that. I wish there was a way I could do the same for you, but I’m no hero.
I know I shouldn´t tell you this, I have no right to tell you this, I know it´s not possible, I know it´s a silly hope, a child´s prayer but I feel my heart will explode if I don´t at least voice it out… I wish that somehow you could be with me holding my hand when our daughter is born, I need it so badly, I wish [I had your strength but I don´t.
I love your roses, but even as magnificent and magical as they are, they are a poor substitute for the real treasure my heart holds dear, you.
I don´t know what life has stored in for us, I just hope I´m smart enough to get through in one piece, promise me we haven´t seen each other for the last time, thinking of never seeing your beautiful smile ever again just breaks my heart.
PS: FYI I´m still angry at you for teleporting me NAKED in the middle of the night, couldn´t you at least magically appeared some clothes for me? “
-“Dear God, I really hope he doesn´t laugh at me”- Leah thought as she folded her letter and stuff it inside an envelope on which she wrote on big letters: To Loki
Next she placed it on her nightstand next to her roses as she pleaded –Please Loki, please. Take it with you.-
It took her a long time to finally be able to sleep, she was too nervous and kept tossing in her bed until finally fatigue overcame her.
When she woke up next morning she immediately turned her eyes to her nightstand, there was a third rose in the vase and the letter was gone. As she hold the new rose close to her hear as it bloomed she whispered –Thanks!-